| I brought a knife to a gun fight |
[Apr. 2nd, 2011|03:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Silverstein- The End | ] |
Woah, am I actually doing this right now? It's been so long. A lot has happened. Last time I've typed on this thing was September. Woah. I've still been writing but I just started a real journal instead. But I just don't think the whole journal thing is me. It hurts my hand and I just never feel like doing it. I would always wish I never stopped writing on my online one.
I started seeing a counselor in November. About time. She's been pretty helpful. I started dating this kid named Robby at the end of January. We broke up a month later and of course knowing me, I wanted to die. I couldn't eat ever and my anxiety got the best of me. I lost a lot of weight and was having a lot of suicidal thoughts. My mom brought me to the doctors and I had to get blood taken and take a urine test to see if other things may be wrong. :o Eventually the anxiety subsided. I sit with Robby at lunch so it's hard. I'm not over him. I realize something is seriously wrong with me in the guy department. I'd read back on my past entries on here and all I'd talk about was boys. There'd be a new one pretty often too. Like I mean there would never be a break. I always say this but - if someone came down from above, like a god, and told me I wouldn't marry someone. That I would be single forever..I'd kill myself. I know this is wrong and not healthy. I need to talk to my counselor about this.
ANYWAY, Eric has been texting me and I haven't answered any of them and he won't get the point. There is nothing left to say to you! You have a girlfriend, why are you still trying to contact me? I don't understand. I really don't and I don't even feel flattered. I just feel annoyed. I don't know what he wants. I'm guessing for me to still be emotionally attached to him. Well, if that's it Eric, I haven't been emotionally attached to you for a long time. Goodbyeeeeeeeeeeeeee
P.S
I haven't been happy for a while. |
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