| I'm drunk and so is everyone else in this devil town. |
[Jun. 6th, 2011|11:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | weird | ] |
| [ | music |
| | 30h!3 - Streets of gold | ] |
~another stupid entry about a boy who doesn't like me~
I haven't wrote in a while! I've been pretty busy with work. I just got back like a half hour ago and my legs kill. I've been mostly working on school nights instead of the weekends which I'm really happy about. It's not like I have any homework to do anyway. School is over next Tuesday. Wow. My sophomore year is over. I'm going to be a junior next year. Time definitely flew by..it's sad. Really sad for me. I don't like endings, involving anything. I wouldn't really know what to categorize this year. Good or bad, happy or sad, I don't know. At times it was great..other times it was really dissapointing and hard on me. I just hope this summer is great .. the best year. And junior year is awesome for me. Whoo lets stay optimistic!
Robby and I have definitely got back to the way we used to be, before we ever went out. The stage I so wished to go back to. The stage I begged would come back. Now that it's here it feels weird. We flirt..and then I come home upset. Blah. We texted this whole weekend. I texted him friday asking him how the prom was (he went with a junior) and we just talked the whole rest of the weekend. Saturday night he told me he'd text me later. I didn't think he'd text me the next day. I was really happy when he did. He even asked me to come to Brig on saturday. I didn't feel like explaining to everyone why I was going to Robby's house so I just said I couldn't.
I think he's confused with how he feels, and he frankly doesn't really care. Robby doesn't know what he wants. One moment he'll be hugging me tight in the hallways, the next day he won't even talk to me. It hurts and it's frustrating. If I knew I would be this caught up about texting him I probably wouldn't of texted him on friday. For instance, it really upset me we didn't text tonight. We did a little in the daytime, but not tonight. I wanted to kill myself at work. This is how I get. This is how I am. I'm insane.
It makes my lip quiver and my eyes start to water about this year ending because it means the year with Robby is over. Next year we might not have any classes together and we might go back to being strangers. Not friends. I don't want that. Sometimes I think we can never ever go back to the way we were, we will NEVER go out again. It's heart wrenching because that's all I want. But the sad conclusion is things don't always work out in your favor. You can want someone so bad and sometimes it just doesn't work out. No matter how badly you want it to. From the the bottom of my toes, to the top of my head, I want Robby back. From the bottom of his toes, to the top of his head, he doesn't care.
I don't even think I care
what am I saying?
goodnight |
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