InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Why is the world spinning?"

Jess Van der berg (insolentia_) wrote,
@ 2016-05-24 01:47:00

Current mood:

crappy

[No Baddies - Away from Nicholas]

i had to watch my tortured boyfriend scream at no less than three doctors today because he just wants to eat and he can't yet. i mean they're giving him that sugar water crap, but it's just making him hungry and i can't help and i had to leave because i can't sit there and watch. pregnancy hormones don't help either, because i keep bursting into tears and then he tries to make me feel better and that shouldn't be his job but he's just so wonderful-

i'm so relieved he's back, but i guess i have to keep reminding myself that doesn't mean everything is suddenly okay because it's not. it is so fucking far from okay. i can't believe what was done to my sweet nicky. not to mention looking at him is just making me think of what happened to joey-

whatever, cheer me up. suggest names for my son!

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jdelacroix
2016-05-23 02:09 pm UTC (link)

I just have to keep reminding myself that they know what they're doing, and if this is the best course of action for him, then we should just let them do it. (That doesn't mean I don't want to just crack and go get him some food, though. Because I do.)

[JJ]
It's so not OK. It's fucking not. And every time I look at him, I get flashbacks to Jay lying in a hospital bed, looking like he might snap in half. I know they didn't get there the same way, but it still makes me feel like I swallowed my heart and I'll throw it back up.

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	insolentia_ 2016-05-23 02:18 pm UTC (link)
	i know and i will crack and get him food which is why i am just going to chill at home today. i know it could hurt him or worse if they don't do this right now but i hate it. [Jesse] oh, babe, i know. i keep thinking about that too and it's horrible. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	jdelacroix 2016-05-23 02:30 pm UTC (link)
	It's alright, cher. I'll sit with him for a while, until you feel like you can come back. [JJ] One of the many reasons I cook so much goddamn food. And freak out a little every time someone says they haven't eaten all day. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	insolentia_ 2016-05-23 02:41 pm UTC (link)
	i'll try again tomorrow. i just...it's all so horrible. i'm sorry i'm leaving you to take care of it. [Jesse] i don't blame you at all. and it's not like adrian and isaiah are brilliant at taking care of themselves either. is that a delacroix thing? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	jdelacroix 2016-05-23 02:46 pm UTC (link)
	It's alright. I'll be here when you want to try again. [JJ] Pretty much. Probably tied into chronically low self-worth, courtesy of dear departed dad. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	insolentia_ 2016-05-23 02:56 pm UTC (link)
	you are the best. [Jesse] i thought about that after i hit enter. sorry, love. for what it's worth, i think you're amazing. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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