InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I laugh in the face of danger!"

Keely Ann Williams (keely__) wrote,
@ 2008-09-17 15:49:00

Current music:

adema || pain inside

XLVIII; keep breathing (close friends only)
Twenty-eight days sober. I have two more days until I am out of rehab and on my own again. Things are a lot different and in all honesty, I don't want to leave this place. It's been my crutch. Councling every day and meetings, even a few meetings with my mom and brother. We talked about the death of Shannon and my dad. How I kept holding onto them for all the wrong reasons. How I blamed myself for Shannon's death. I felt guilty because I was suppose to go with him that night and opted for staying home and sleep. But in the end of it all, I wasn't at fault. My brother should of known better to drive drunk.

I talked to my manager early this morning. He's Just Not That Into You will be coming out in February. The Spirit is coming out this Dec. I'm excited for that to be coming out, I loved making that movie. When I get out of here, I'm going to New York to audition for a role in a movie called Amazon. I think I'm pretty much going to throw myself into work. My manager said that Mark, the one that produced the music video I was in with Justin, he wants me to write a song and make a music video for it. I told him I don't see myself as a music artist, he said I didn't have to be. It's just one song, that he loves my voice.

~~I want to go back up to Seattle and visit Evan. But I'm sure he's not happy with me at the moment.~~ I'm not really happy with myself, how I acted and been. Finding out the marriage to Kingston was fake kind of threw me through a loop. When I get out, I'm going to talk to Sammy about moving out and getting an apartment or a small house. I have a beach house but it's to far away for work and I got it to be my ''home away from home'' home. ~~Have I mentioned I've been wanting to call Rob. But I stop myself, because he probably hates me and probably wouldn't even want to be friends.~~

Well, I need to go get some stuff straightened out and sign some papers. I'm going to miss this place, it was nice to see people with similar problems and I'm not alone in this.

(Post a new comment)

	Keely __abc__ 2008-09-17 08:20 pm UTC (link)
	I've been the worst kind of friend to you -- to everyone really -- and I hope that you can forgive me. I've been selfish and there's really no excuse for it. I should have been for you but instead I was emotionally detached from .. everything. I'm sorry. I'm messing up everything lately. (Reply to this) (Thread)

Sammy

keely__
2008-09-17 09:00 pm UTC (link)

You have not been the worst friend to me. We just both ended up having a break down at the same time. Only thing that I hated, was that you left with no word. You scared the hell out of me. Then again, I've scared the hell out of you many of times. I love you and little bit to death. And even if you are messing up everything, I've done my share. Maybe we can both work together to make things better.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	evanhartwell 2008-09-18 12:56 am UTC (link)
	Glad you're doing better. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	keely__ 2008-09-18 02:16 pm UTC (link)
	One day at a time. Not all better but I'm getting there. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	evanhartwell 2008-09-18 03:02 pm UTC (link)
	Good to hear. If you ever need anything, let me know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	keely__ 2008-09-18 04:14 pm UTC (link)
	Few things I need but I can go/do without. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	evanhartwell 2008-09-18 06:38 pm UTC (link)
	Such as? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	keely__ 2008-09-18 06:42 pm UTC (link)
	It's not important. I don't want to get in anyones way or cause you trouble. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	evanhartwell 2008-09-18 06:49 pm UTC (link)
	I can imagine it's either one of two things. Either you want to have wild animal sex with me, or you want me to get you some chili fries. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	keely__ 2008-09-18 07:29 pm UTC (link)
	No, no wild animal sex with you. I can't afford to have the marks. But some chili fries sound good. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	evanhartwell 2008-09-18 07:30 pm UTC (link)
	Sounds like a plan. Although you might be missing out, for the record. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	keely__ 2008-09-18 07:47 pm UTC (link)
	Not if something good comes out of it. And no, orgasm after orgasm doesn't count. It'll probably be a week before I can come get my chili fries. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	evanhartwell 2008-09-18 10:23 pm UTC (link)
	Sounds good. I don't think it's smart to house you again though, because I might be tempted to indulge in more than fries. (Reply to this) (Parent)