08 April 2008 @ 12:27 pm
The Accident.  
Why oh why can't I write anything except stupid crack?

Title: The Accident
Timeline: Post-513
Author's Notes: For my darling [info]xie_xie_xie who is sick at the moment. She wanted H/C but this came out instead. Thanks for proofing it between bouts of lung-hacking, Xie!

Eventually, Brian and Justin got around to taking that snowboarding trip to Vermont.

They had snowball fights. At Justin's insistence, they made snow angels. They drank hot toddies by the fireplace, and soaked in the Jacuzzi together. They were ridiculously romantic and they loved every minute of it.

Until the accident.

No one ever found out what really happened; not even Michael could get the truth out of Brian. But when they were eventually found behind the chair lift tower, half-naked, bruised, and battered, they'd given new meaning to the term “extreme sports.”

Any lingering upset Justin had harbored at missing out on the Liberty Ride disappeared when he was treated to a re-enactment of Brian breaking his collarbone – and a few ribs for good measure – and with the cursing streak that followed, Justin felt like he'd been there after all.

Of course, his own leg was broken, so it was fair to say he'd had a few choice words as well. Just ask the shocked chair lift operator who found them.

“You're quite the fucking pair, aren't you?” said Debbie, hands on hips staring at them laid up in bed. “I knew all your fucking in public places was going to get the better of you one day. Serves you both right."

Debbie had a unique brand of sympathy.

Justin turned wounded puppy dog eyes on her. “Debbie, we're in pain here. My leg really hurts. And what if it had been my arm? What if I'd never been able to draw the same way again? Haven't I been through enough already?”

Brian marveled at Justin's quivering lip.

“Aww baby, of course you have,” said Debbie.

Brian used to wonder how Justin got away with so much when he lived with Debbie - most of it at Brian's instigation, of course. Now he knew.

Debbie sat next to Justin on the bed, clutching him to her ample bosom. “I'm sorry, baby, you know I'd never want to see you hurt.” She finally released him and he sank back gratefully against the pillows. “Not even you, asshole,” she slapped Brian on the cheek. “But don't think I don't know this was your fault.”

“Why, Debbie, I'm shocked. Why exactly would you suggest this is my fault? You weren't even there,” Brian said in just the right tone to guarantee getting a rise out of Debbie.

She gave him the evil eye. “I know enough to know,” she said.

As Brian and Justin pondered another of Debbie's ambiguous pearls of wisdom, she busied herself straightening up the paraphernalia on the bedside table. “You getting a lot of drawing done while you're stuck in bed, baby?” she asked, stacking Justin's sketchbooks into a neat pile.

“Sure am, Deb,” Justin said.

“The lad's been using that hand night and day,” Brian said with a grin. Debbie scowled.

“Debbie,” Justin said, bringing her attention back to him. “I'm kinda hungry. Would you mind bringing the food you brought in here, please?” He gave her an angelic smile.

“Of course, Sunshine, I'll be right back.”

As Debbie left the room, Brian leaned over and whispered to Justin. “I see now why I never stood a chance against you.”

Justin grinned in return. “You fucking love it,” he said, then smacked a kiss against Brian's lips.

“How bout we re-enact some of those scenes you drew?” Brian asked, nodding his head toward the sketchbooks.

“I think we'd better wait until Debbie leaves for that. We don't want to give her a heart attack.”

Brian snorted. “Please. She'd probably pull up a chair and watch. You know, you'd have one hell of a show if you ever decided to put your current work on display. "Tales of a wounded artist". Frida Kahlo can eat her fucking heart out.”

“I've never exhibited porn before, Brian," said Justin. "And I'm not sure I want to start now.”

“I'm ashamed to call you my partner,” Brian said sadly.

Justin just grinned, then poked him in the ribs. He'd been getting a lot of perverse pleasure out of doing that lately.

“Motherfucker!" Brian shouted. Justin laughed evilly.

“What's going on in here?” Debbie demanded, carrying a tray of sandwiches into the bedroom.

“Nothing, Deb, Brian just made a wrong move and hurt his ribs.”

Brian glowered at Justin.

“Oh, you poor baby.” Debbie's mothering instincts had returned. “You want a pain pill before I go?”

Brian nodded sadly, no doubt reminding Debbie of the wounded 14-year-old kid she'd looked after all those years before.

Justin had learned from the master, after all.


“What's today's schedule?” Brian asked later as they lay together after lunch.

“Emmett's bringing magazines by around four, Michael's delivering ice cream and weed around five and Ben will be here for sponge baths after that. I'm surprised Michael hasn't figured out we don't actually need Ben for the sponge baths yet. I mean, I have two good hands.”

Brian shrugged. “I'm not about to tell him, are you?”

“Hell no,” Justin said. “Bath time's the best time of day.”

Brian leered at Justin. “What do you say we practice our mobility exercises until then.”

“Mmmm, why not,” Justin said. "Let's see if we can come up with something new to draw for my collection."

And then they did.
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xie_xie_xie: double chins of love[info]xie_xie_xie on April 8th, 2008 02:35 am (UTC)
*gasps and chokes*

Bitch. You made me laugh. Are you trying to kill me?
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Britin: justin's magical ass by url_girl[info]_alicesprings on April 8th, 2008 02:42 am (UTC)
Noooo, I'm trying to cure you through the power of stupid crack. And perhaps Justin's magical ass :D

I'm so happy it made you laugh!
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notreallyme10: color squiggles[info]notreallyme10 on April 8th, 2008 02:53 am (UTC)
ROFL! If your muses say crack then I say just roll with it ;) This was hilarious!
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Britin[info]_alicesprings on April 9th, 2008 01:06 am (UTC)
I am but my muse's bitch ;)

Thank you, my dear! I'm so happy it made you laugh!
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[info]loud99 on April 8th, 2008 02:57 am (UTC)
ROFL!! This was hilarious.
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Britin[info]_alicesprings on April 8th, 2008 01:33 pm (UTC)
Yay! Thank you!
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secretsolitaire: brian smile[info]secretsolitaire on April 8th, 2008 02:57 am (UTC)
*laughs* This was fun!
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Britin[info]_alicesprings on April 8th, 2008 01:32 pm (UTC)
Happy it made you laugh!
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kata_ny: LOL[info]kata_ny on April 8th, 2008 09:40 am (UTC)
crack is healing.
rofl.so funny:)
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Britin[info]_alicesprings on April 8th, 2008 01:32 pm (UTC)
It is *nods*

Thanks! Glad you liked it!
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[info]besamislabios on April 8th, 2008 02:21 pm (UTC)
LOL, this was hilarious, and this isn't stupid crack it's wonderful crack!

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Britin[info]_alicesprings on April 9th, 2008 12:59 am (UTC)
Aww, thank you my dear!
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singlewoman: Grabby hands by url_girl[info]singlewoman on April 9th, 2008 03:07 am (UTC)
This made me smile and laugh the whole way through. Only Brian and Justin would try to fuck on a ski lift!

And these two lines say sooo much about how well the boys know play to their audience: Brian marveled at Justin's quivering lip. And this Brian nodded sadly, looking for all the world like the wounded 14-year-old kid she'd looked after all those years before.

Justin had learned from the master, after all.

Hope this makes xie all better.

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Britin[info]_alicesprings on April 12th, 2008 01:20 am (UTC)
Eeee! Thank you so much, dear! I'm so pleased it made you laugh!

Happy belated birthday, too.
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testdog65: [info]testdog65 on April 12th, 2008 01:53 am (UTC)
Finally IJ let me in so I could read and comment...

I laughed all the way through this! You may call it crack, but I call it very entertaining. This especially:

She gave him the evil eye. “I know enough to know,” she said.

*snort* I'm sure that Xie will be making a full recovery after reading this!

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Britin[info]_alicesprings on April 12th, 2008 03:13 am (UTC)
Thank you so much Ellen! I'm so glad you got to read it, and that you enjoyed it! :D
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