covert_ (covert_) wrote, @ 2010-03-07 17:45:00 |
|
|||
Current mood: | crappy |
Current music: | Ryshon Jones- Emotional Welfare |
Take me home, i rather die then be with you. you have a problem with the truth.
I haven't wrote in a while so I don't really know where to start...
I'll try to make this quick. Joey and I made up, but then we got in another fight and he texted me the next day and said "So we are done." And I didn't have my phone on me so of course I didn't reply and he texted me again and said "K good bye." ......I'm like huh? The fight was so dumb. I didn't answer one text and he got mad at me which = fight. So I was pretty baffled. I texted him back and said "Why?" and he never replied. Then I thought maybe his first text messsage was a statement not a question. So I'm like whatever, I'm done. I got upset but I eventually got over it.
It's Monday and I was offering people my milk and here comes Joey...walking towards my lunch table. Nooo. He sits down. I continue to offer people my milk. He looks at me and says "Can I have it?" I give him a dirty look, and throw him the milk. He looks at me and hes like "Why are you being like this?" This is what I looked like... >:0 ?????
I was like what? He's like "why haven't you texted me?" I said "You told me we were done." He's like "I asked if we were and you never answered." I said "I did answer Joey." he's like "I thought you were mad at me...I jus..........I thought you were mad." I said "ok....
He's like "I want you to text me." I said "k." he said "Can you call me tonight?" I was like "Sure Joey." He then said "Can I have a hug?" I said no. He said please? I said no. He said please marissa..I said "later, once the period is over." He stood up and hes like "now.." We hugged, then he told me another couple times to call him. Through out our whole conversation he'd pause and take a long time answering for everything. It looked as if he was in another world. I later found out he was on drugs. I'll get into that though.
This past week everyday he'd tell me to call him, and if I did he wouldn't answer, or we'd talk and then he'd say he'll came me back and never would...But then he'd find me at my locker the next day and be like "Why didn't you call me, why didn't you text me?" BLAH BLAH BLAH. I was like YOU CALL ME, YOUR THE GUY. & you never called me back last night. He said "I forgot." Okay Joey, well when you really like someone you don't forget to call them. I didn't say that. But I should of. He texted me on thursday and said "whats good?" and once I replied..he didn't even answer! HE IS SO CONFUSING.
Joey has been snorting ritalin which is an ADHD medication. You crush the tablet, and then snort it. It's horrible and he just started and sometimes he does it in my lunch, like the one time he came up and talked to me. I actually witnessed him doing it and its absolutely heartbreaking. I've read so much about it and its sort of like cocaine if you abuse the use. You can get addicted and theirs so many horrible things that can happen. I don't know why Joey is doing this. I tried to talk to him about it but he just made jokes about it. I don't know. It's his life. He's not the same kid he used to be which makes me want to cry. He used to not even touch drugs. I don't know what happened. It's obvious he doesn't like me. I wish he would realize how stupid he's being. I wish Joey would stop doing drugs. :/
New Subject.
I've been so mean lately. I am obviously unhappy with me life so I've said things about people to make me feel better. Mostly about Ilana :/ I was with her last night and I just felt so fake. I really need to work on myself. There is a girl named Molly in my classes and she is so sweet and kind ..its honestly inspiring. After every class she'll say "Have a nice day Mr.'Ms. ____" Always. She'll never say anything bad about anyone. She'll always offer her food to everyone. When she takes out her gum, she'll just pass it to people. (hahah, even though its a little gesture, its so nice!) She helps people with disabilites play basketball. Gah, I love her. & none of it is a fake kind of nice, or an act. It's all genuine. I wish I could be like her. I really should try my best to be a nicer person. I feel awful for everything I've said and done this weekend. Truely. :(