in the end? [sammy, evan, tori, angi]
You know what, I'm done fucking tying. I'm done.

I left Boston, I left with a lot of filming that I need to do to come to him. To apologize and talk, to get our marriage back on track or to try. What do I get? Nothing but fucking attitude because of RAW and because I lied. I wasn't the only one who fucking lied. I didn't tell him about not being able to have kids but he didn't tell me that he didn't want kids. I didn't go to him and talk and he didn't come to me and talk, yet it's all my fault.

Again I left Boston, I came back home to talk to him. I cried my eyes out and poured my heart out to him. He want's to keep reminding me that it'll take more to fix this. But I don't see him making an effort to even try. Why? Because he doesn't talk about anything, it's not in his nature. This how does he fucking expect to get through this? Just go on pretending everything is A-OK when he doesn't even touch me, he doesn't look at me or sleeps with his back to me.

I came to Australia to be with him, to work on our marriage. I dropped all of my responsibilities to go to him. My nerves are shot because of this, because of how he's acting toward me. When he's around, I keep my head down and say as little as possible to him, because I'm scared he's going to go off on me.

I don't know what to do, I'm alone in this and it's plain to see I'm going to stay alone in this, so what's the use in staying married? He said get a lawyer adn i guess that's what I have to do. I'm going to the airport and get a flight to LA. I'll sleep in the airport if I have to, I can't be in this hotel with him. Soon as I get to LA, I'm calling my lawyer to write up the divorce papers and then going to Boston to finish filming.


Last thing I wanted to do was loose him... but I'm good at loosing the people I love more then anything.