InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "el pollo loco"

Gwendolyn Montgomery (purist_) wrote,
@ 2012-09-16 01:03:00

Okay, scribbling this to you lot because I'm going to go talk to Zach in a couple of minutes, but I am trying not to freak out, because I reeally like him, and I like being with him, and I didn't want him to worry about it, because it's so not his fault or anything and it's just his parents being mental, and I just want him to think it's all okay and that there are okay sides to this all but then trying not to freak out at him is just making me look really irrational and like I am totally into the idea and that I might have been plotting it all along which is so completely not true.

But oh my Salazar!

Zach's parents want us to get married.

Like proper wedded!

As in they want to have a chat with my parents and see if we're suitable, and of course we'd make a proper couple and we'd be right gorgeous together and we both have the right breeding and

Salazar, I can't breathe.

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Re: Same Ward

grandepretresse
2012-09-16 12:37 pm UTC (link)

I will tell you two things.

First of all, there is no law governing the length of an engagement. One can get engaged, and be engaged for as long as one wants or needs.

Secondly, there are no laws prohibiting the termination of an engagement should the match prove unsuitable. Just because you get engaged, doesn't mean you have to marry him if somewhere down the line you find there's a compelling reason not to.

My point being, if an engagement will please your parents, I see no harm in it. You needn't do anything you don't wish to do, and you get a pretty, pretty ring into the bargain.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Same Ward gloiresangpur 2012-09-16 12:40 pm UTC (link)
	~~*You weren't very keen on pleasing our* parents**~~ I agree. Additionally, Josie, as long as you and Zacharias are both on the same page, as it were (regarding the possibility of getting engaged but not marrying immediately), then that would also be less of a problem. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Same Ward

grandepretresse
2012-09-16 12:42 pm UTC (link)

The key here is communication, between you and Zach. Tell him you're frightened. It's been my experience that that sort of transparency is far more appealing than, say, the cold stiffness of putting on a brave face.

I think the two of you are good together. There's no reason this should be a detriment to what you have. In fact, providing you two can get on the same page about this, it might bring you closer together.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Same Ward purist_ 2012-09-16 01:16 pm UTC (link)
	~~Experience?~~ Yeah, I guess I just didn't want us both to freak out, but telling him the truth is probably for the best. I hope you're right. I do think we suit each other so well. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Same Ward purist_ 2012-09-16 01:05 pm UTC (link)
	We are, I think. He thinks it's too soon, and neither one of us wants to think about a wedding until long after we've left Hogwarts. I just don't want to upset either one of our parents. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Josie

gloiresangpur
2012-09-16 01:09 pm UTC (link)

At heart, I think Zacharias is an honourable person. He would want to do the right thing by his wife and the mother of his children, to make sure any family of his own was happy, you know?

To that end, perhaps you could talk about some of the things people have said in this ward, and see if he has any specific concerns about an engagement, you can reassure him that you agree, and you can come up with a joint strategy in terms of how to speak with your parents. For instance, in some cultures, the young couple agrees to a sort of "pre-engagement", whereby if they are still together after a certain period of time, for instance, they then settle upon a more formal arrangement. That could please both sets of parents and yourselves, maybe? A form of compromise?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Flora

purist_
2012-09-16 01:23 pm UTC (link)

He would. He'd be a really fab husband, and father eventually, but I think the idea just weirds us both out. It's odd to think of either one of us as married.

Maybe that would be a good way to go about it. Not sure how keen thy would be about other cultures, and I don't want to completely ignore our traditions as well. Still, they haven't spoken to my parents, and if I owl them with those suggestions it might help.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Josie gloiresangpur 2012-09-16 01:32 pm UTC (link)
	You don't have to mention the other cultures thing, of course, just present it as an alternative. After all, when you get married, you want it to successful, and happy for life. I'm sure your families would want that too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Flora purist_ 2012-09-16 01:36 pm UTC (link)
	The way Zach talks about his parents sometimes, I do wonder if they do, but mum does at least which is something. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Josie/Flora gloiresangpur 2012-09-16 01:39 pm UTC (link)
	The impression I get is that they have different priorities, shall we say. That said, if they can have a good match for their son and have him happy, I think they would be pleased. After all, society types don't like having their families gossiped about, on the whole. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Josie/Flora purist_ 2012-09-16 02:21 pm UTC (link)
	No, it really wouldn't do to have a son upset and shouting off, embarrassing the family. Still, he loves me, and I think I love him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Josie/Flora gloiresangpur 2012-09-16 06:32 pm UTC (link)
	Which is a good place to start. Better than some marriages amongst people like us, where the prevailing emotion was sheer loathing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Josie/Flora purist_ 2012-09-16 07:58 pm UTC (link)
	No, ours will be better than borth of our parents'. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Same Ward purist_ 2012-09-16 12:58 pm UTC (link)
	I know, but there are way things are done in society and it would hardly be proper to call off an engagement would it? Though I did mention the length of engagement to him, and we're at least on the same page. I think you're right though, and I think it's probably best if we went along with it; I am looking forward to a lovely, sparkly ring. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Same Ward grandepretresse 2012-09-16 12:59 pm UTC (link)
	The most important thing is to relax. Nothing can happen without your consent. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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