|_amethyst_eyes (_amethyst_eyes) wrote,|
@ 2008-03-27 22:15:00
|Entry tags:||buffy, depression|
I'd be better off dead than lying here alone
Has anyone else seen the episode of Buffy where she wakes up in a mental institution and suddenly doesn't know which life is real: the slayer life, or the crazy person who's latched on to these fictional characters she created?
Man, I really wish I could do that. Only, reverse it.
I wish there was a way that I could form my own little reality and live in it. I don't care if in real life I'm strapped to some table getting shot up every so often to stop fits. I wouldn't know it, I would think I was perfectly happy. So who cares, right?
I'm so completely unhappy with everything. I can't remember the last time I felt genuine happiness. Wait.... actually, I do. It was when Laura told me how much she loved VM. So see? My own little virtual world would be perfect, because beyond that, I honestly haven't a clue.
Yeah yeah whatever, this is just me rebelling to try to make myself fail. Congratulations self, you're damn good at it.
I don't care. The only time I feel any piece of contentment is watching my shows, sometimes reading. But either way, it's my own little world, with no cares. Is that why people do drugs? Maybe I should look into that lol.
Ugh I'm such a loser, and I suck.