InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "The rum is always gone..."

Draco Malfoy (_dm) wrote,
@ 2008-08-10 22:05:00

Magic is back. What a relief it must be to the families that were under stress.

My proposal for a healthier, more productive ministry has just been passed. All canteens within the Ministry building are now prohibited from selling foods low in nutrition, foods with trans fats, foods with imitation unicorn hair, and foods shipped from Barns Barns Big Eats due to the controversy that seems to surround the corporation bi-weekly.

Complaints will be carefully assessed ~~but will be a waste of your time~~.

As for skeptics, small steps in our Ministry lead to great strides.

[Edit: Yes, the snack popular in the accounting department, Crunchy Cream Crisps, is now banned. Accountants found with this snack, even if it's from home, will be subject to a five hundred galleon penalty.]

New restrictions to the dress code at work. It's just been stamped and finalized. Deal with it.

(Post a new comment)

	Draco _prettyparvati 2008-08-10 09:23 pm UTC (link)
	I know sometimes you may wish I wasn't your wife, Dragon, but unfortunately, I go by Malfoy now. For all your possessiveness, you're really strange with the maiden name thing. What are they? :( (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Parvati _dm 2008-08-10 09:40 pm UTC (link)
	I'll have to punish my secretary for not changing my automated journal tags then. Malfoy secretaries for the time being will be forced to wear DM Appointed undergarments until further notice. Complaints can be brought up with the Ministry in an official complaint forwarded through HR. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Draco _prettyparvati 2008-08-10 09:54 pm UTC (link)
	But, your secetary is also your wife, so you can't punish me! (Also, I'll change them tommorrow, sorry I'm so dizzy) Oh dear, well I suppose if it's official, then I must. My question though is how will my boss know if I disobey and do not wear them tommorrow? And what are the repercussions of breaking the dress code? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Parvati _dm 2008-08-10 11:45 pm UTC (link)
	I'll make an example of you, clearly so that the accounting department will know exactly what happened to you in my office. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Draco _prettyparvati 2008-08-10 11:48 pm UTC (link)
	Yes, sir. But, I think you're bluffing, so I shan't adhere to the dress code for tommorrow, just to see. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Draco _dm 2008-08-10 11:55 pm UTC (link)
	Good luck walking properly out of my office. Face powder and a hairbrush won't wipe the glossy dazed look on your face either. I'm getting the sound proof charms redone tomorrow after work, so they'll be off during the day as well. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Dragon who I loveeeeeeeeee _prettyparvati 2008-08-11 12:03 am UTC (link)
	I love it when you're all threatening :) Okay, now I KNOW you're bluffing. You're so silly. It'll be a showdown tommorrow, then. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Dragon who I loveeeeeeeeee

_dm
2008-08-11 12:07 am UTC (link)

I guess the gloves will have to come off. How about some firecalling to some friends while you're biting your bottom lip? I remember Dunstan thought you were on some toxic drug when I last asked you to make an important call to her.

Dina... I... Uh... Just... Ministry... Just... Supposed to tell you.... Ministry says... just... just... that your job is secure... Oh Merlin goodbye--

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Dragon _prettyparvati 2008-08-11 12:17 am UTC (link)
	There is no way you're making me to do that again, I only agreed because...I don't know, but I'm sure there was a reason...~~other than how hot you are~~. You've had the 'gloves' on this entire year? Please. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Draco spencer_capper 2008-08-10 09:27 pm UTC (link)
	What's up with the health kick? We've cut out Barns Barns Big Eats as well. Oh, Dunstan has somehow roped me into a date. Weird, I know. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Spencer _dm 2008-08-10 09:42 pm UTC (link)
	Employees waste too much time choosing which chip brand they want to eat while they work. A date? That's cool. Will you pick me up some of those roasted peanuts from that store near your flat by the way? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Draco spencer_capper 2008-08-10 09:49 pm UTC (link)
	Aw, is Draco Malfoy becoming manorexic? Uh, sure, but it's weird, right? I mean, Bredina Dunstan. Who'd have thought? I guess one good thing will be seeing people's faces. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Spencer _dm 2008-08-10 09:54 pm UTC (link)
	No, Draco Malfoy hates grease stains on his daily reports. Why is it weird? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Malfoy spencer_capper 2008-08-10 09:56 pm UTC (link)
	I've heard things about your 2nd in command, those might not be grease stains. Because it's like...the least likely person I would ever date. Geez, have you been drugged or something? It's like you and dating a female Harry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Malfoy _dm 2008-08-10 11:44 pm UTC (link)
	Is that muggle humor? Least likely? ...You've got to be joking me. I don't have time for your dramatics and attention seeking/peculiar lies. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Malfoy spencer_capper 2008-08-10 11:50 pm UTC (link)
	Is that pureblood inbreeding? Peculiar lies? I don't get it. It's Dunstan. I know you're playing dumb just to rile me up. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Capper _dm 2008-08-10 11:53 pm UTC (link)
	Yes, Bredina Dunstan, former Gryffindor, witch who you've been pawing and agonizing over for an embarrassing amount of time. Have you had your fill now? Whatever sick giggle you were trying to get? I have a stack full of memos to sign, Capper, don't waste my time like this! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Malfoy spencer_capper 2008-08-10 11:56 pm UTC (link)
	I never pawed her. Nor did I agonize. You're a serious lunatic. Go tell your wife and then you'll get that this is news. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Private Merge: Parvati and Spencer _dm 2008-08-10 11:58 pm UTC (link)
	Parvati, Spencer and Bredina are dating. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Private Merge: Parvati and Spencer _prettyparvati 2008-08-11 12:02 am UTC (link)
	Okay. Can you tell Spencer to pick up some of those roasted nuts near his flat for us? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Private Merge: Parvati and Spencer _dm 2008-08-11 12:04 am UTC (link)
	I did. Those nuts are quite good, aren't they? They've got a lovely little flavor to them. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Private Merge: Parvati and Spencer spencer_capper 2008-08-11 12:06 am UTC (link)
	#$@#%@# Screw you Malfoys. Way to pull the marriage-siding-with-eachother thing. Idiots. (Reply to this) (Parent)

naughtt
2008-08-10 10:28 pm UTC (link)

A happier and productive staff? ~~Bullocks. Do you really have that much time to waste--or just happen to be that dense?! Do you honestly think anyone in the actual Ministry will actually enforce that after this week?~~ I'm sure that it'll make for a more creative staff at the very least; since I'm sure they'll be trying to seek ways to hide their "low in nutrition" foodstuffs. ~~It's giving me a good laugh at least.~~

(Reply to this) (Thread)

_dm
2008-08-10 11:43 pm UTC (link)

I don't seek perfection, but making it difficult for employees to lead unhealthy lifestyles is a step in the right direction.

I do feel for you though, Nott, as your assistant gushed ~~quite literally~~ that you get snippy without your daily dose of "strawberry fairy funnel treat". Is that true? Because those were banned, naturally. Perhaps signing up for a vegetable-of-the-month club would encourage a better diet for you as well as some regularity in your personal life.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

naughtt
2008-08-11 01:06 am UTC (link)

Or leaving them no option but to not eat whatever the hell they wish allegedly leads them in the right direction--whereas simple education should be suffice and leave them their free will. As you say: "Small steps in our Ministry lead to great strides." ...And would those great strides be into some sort of State-ruled tyranny? It seems fairly likely.

Think what you wish Malfoy. ~~Get your story straight. It's mochaccinos that I can't live without. Strawberry funnel cakes are an occasional indulgence.~~ I haven't the time to bother with enforcing trivial rules on those who work under me ~~nor with myself~~. And I suppose since you don't notice my day-to-day habits, you wouldn't have noticed that I am a vegetarian. But thank you for your concern--it is appreciated, ~~control freak~~ Malfoy.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

_dm
2008-08-11 01:34 am UTC (link)

I have trusted that our school systems have educated all formally educated wizards and witches on the importance of a healthy diet. This "tyranny" merely makes it so that employees must save their fat cakes for when they get home, as an indulgence, as opposed to a permanent fixture of their desks.

A vegetarian, are you? No wonder you've been looking a little sickly. I suggest more chickpeas and tofu in your diet. I'm sure you'll be interested in the greater variety of vegetarian choices at the canteen. I'll be sure your special needs are met, Nott, and will personally speak with the new caterers.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

naughtt
2008-08-11 01:46 am UTC (link)

So then, since they are all educated and know all sorts of repercussions of their actions--anything that denies their autonomy (as long as their work is completed to the satisfaction of the employer/Ministry) seems quite foolish.

Yes. For quite awhile now. I've always hated the taste of meat and most of its related products. And no, I don't bother to eat at the canteen, so feel free to save your breath on that matter. ~~You must have a lot of time in your hands.~~

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

_dm
2008-08-11 10:45 am UTC (link)

But that's the point-- isn't it? Productivity is at a new low, and it has been noted that what employees waste their time on is their devotion to certain snack foods. Agonizing over BBQ versus Chipotle Cheese flavors. The new nutritious line of food is packed with protein and healthier fats that will fill up employees, instead of the empty carbs of the past, which force them to go back to the canteen after 15 minutes of work. Work that, was never really work, as they were finishing their snack 40% of that time.

Oh, no, Nott. It's no trouble at all. We're all faces of the Ministry, now-- I can't have you looking like that. I'll hope, sincerely, that the new choices might just tempt your distinguished skin and bones.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

naughtt
2008-08-18 03:38 pm UTC (link)

I daresay that this lack of interest in work is due to different matters (i.e. the nature of an individual's work, management techniques); and food acquisition is only one of its outlets/manifestations. But perhaps it varies across departments--in which case I am sorry to hear that you have non-productive and unmotivated individuals working with you.

I also sincerely do hope that you are leaving most of this meal planning to an actual healer since ~~your intelligence is not altogether convincing and I still believe you are an utter control freak~~ the planning of diets are more than just choosing proteins and healthy fats. (Yes, there is such thing as good carbohydrates, Malfoy.)

Well I commend you for your ~~pointless~~ advocacy, Malfoy. Even though I'm still quite convinced that I will not hold any interest in food at the canteen, I'm sure that it will do plenty of good for vegetarians within the Ministry.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	renegade_pucey 2008-08-11 11:10 am UTC (link)
	The Ministry is always improving as long as there's a Malfoy on staff. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_dm 2008-08-15 02:50 pm UTC (link)
	You flatter me, Pucey. I trust you're taking care of yourself, as always. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	bladesofgrass 2008-08-11 02:00 pm UTC (link)
	How wonderful. It's lovely to hear someone cares about the Ministry workers' health. Those Cream Crisps are atrocious. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_dm 2008-08-15 02:49 pm UTC (link)
	I think it's simply, really. And those who oppose this new addition forget that they are completely free to have their Floaty Berry Chews when they go home. I'm not a man who believes in no indulgences in life, but I believe that sometimes, people forget the meaning of the word. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	wagemywars 2008-08-12 12:29 am UTC (link)
	Why just the accounting department? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_dm 2008-08-15 02:46 pm UTC (link)
	~~Because they made the mistake of hitting on my wife.~~ All departments will be under strict surveillance, not just the accounting department. ~~Except it will actually just mostly be the accounting department.~~ (Reply to this) (Parent)

	groovygeorge 2008-08-13 06:56 pm UTC (link)
	I'm sure this is a wonderful step in helping bring those missing witches back, eh? Good to know you lot have got your priorities straight. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_dm 2008-08-15 02:44 pm UTC (link)
	I'm glad you agree, Weasley, because since this new addition to company policy, 4 of the 6 missing witches have been found. By increasing productivity with such simple measures, amazing things can be done. Please feel free to use government example for your own life, no matter how small and trivial you might feel it is in comparison. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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