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Tweak says, "They're coming for us, Francis"

Syd(ney) Barrett (_donttouch) wrote,
@ 2017-04-06 19:48:00

[log 2] Syd/David

The days went by fast, too fast. But there were tactics to discuss and work to put in, all things that took up time. Sydney had put her two cents in, brash as it might have been in comparison to everyone else's thoughtful plans, and then took off. Now it was time for personal work of her own.

She had been thinking about it since their conversation, contemplating the logistics and possible horrible effects of what might happen were she wrong about this idea. It might even be worse than the first time she and David switched bodies; he was so much more powerful now. And while he knew it, was aware of it, she still didn't think that she herself was strong enough to keep everything in check if they did switch. And she didn't think her conscience could take another murder -- no matter how accidental it was. Especially not of these people. They had already seen enough loss. She had seen enough loss.

She often wondered whether David would have been able to suss out the Shadow King earlier, had she not accidentally killed Lenny and leave her to be a hallucination in his mind. Or would it have simply taken another form, another person to confuse him?

Enough of those thoughts, Sydney, she mentally chastised herself. If they could hold on to scarves together, then they could do this. Resolve found, she wound her way toward David's dorm before she lost her nerve. David wasn't there, at least she was pretty sure that he wasn't; it was odd, but she swore that she could sometimes feel him around. It was easy to find him, though whether that was part of some weird connection or by merely knowing him, Syd wasn't sure. It wasn't like she had that particular link with anyone else she had switched with. Perspective and empathy, sure. But an actual possible link? Maybe it was because she entered his headspace. It was a question she would have to ask the others, whether they had the same feeling.

Entering his room, she looked around and grabbed the closest piece of clothing that she could find, a jacket. The theft was quick, partially because that was how a theft should be and partially because she wanted to find out what would happen as soon as possible. Her fingers snuck out of their protective cover of long sleeves, gingerly touching the fabric of the jacket with eyes half squinted shut. Eyes still squinted, she threw the jacket on one shoulder then the other, and then looked around wide-eyed to see what had happened.

Those wide eyes looked down first thing, seeking out -- yup. Still had boobs. Releasing a sigh of relief, Syd cozied up in the jacket, zipping it up halfway. It was bigger than her normal size, which was nice. Safe. More room between others' skin and her own. And it smelled like him! Like a little kid, Sydney wiggled around in the fabric happily and then turned around to leave and go about her day.

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xgene
2017-04-10 12:58 am UTC (link)

No. No. David drew in a sharp breath, air that burned. Ash in his lungs.

Jaw set firm, tight, teeth practically grinding together, he shook his head, stiff muscles making the motion anything but smooth. He wasn't afraid of pain, of screams, of accusations. The only sympathy he'd ever heard in the echoes were in the prevention of every move, every thought of ending his own life. God he wanted to, every second of every day. When his mind was active, it consumed him. Ash sinking in through skin, bone deep, fusing within him.

There was a sudden warmth, a radiation that countered the chill of cement and sunless air. David immediately recoiled from it, eyes flying open as he violently pushed himself up and away. Pale blue eyes stared at her, their color made to look even paler due to the dark circles under them, pallid skin bringing out every harsh shadow, every sharp edge of neglect.

She looked exactly as he used to think of her. No pain, no fear. Eyes bright, full of life -- not empty, not shadows of what had been ripped apart from within.

But why? "Why?" His head spun, every thought brought out without filter. "Why are you doing this again? I already promised you I wouldn't!" He said, voice getting steadily louder. "I never questioned why, gave you the benefit of the doubt," his words sped up, body shaking as he began to pace. "But I can't, I can't, I can't--" Head shaking, he gave up on finding the words, instead letting out a frustrated growl as his hands went to his hair, pulling on it harshly.

"My thoughts are my thoughts. Can't stop them," he muttered, pushing himself back up against the opposite wall, sliding back down to the ground. "Can't help them. I can't." Eyes shut, he slammed his head hard against the cement wall behind him with every I can't that followed.

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_donttouch
2017-04-10 01:18 am UTC (link)

When he recoiled, she stayed where she was, unafraid of him -- she meant it when she gave David her trust, good or bad -- but worried as hell. God, this world was a crapsack. Standing as well, because action wanted for action, she watched him pace for a minute.

"Your thoughts are your thoughts. You can't stop them, it's shit to think that you can stop them." She agreed, slowly moving, close but not touching, slid along the wall as well sitting next to him. She wanted to stop him, hold his head and make everything better. She had to settle for making sure that this never happened in the first place.

Her head turned, forcing herself to study David, really study. Sydney was in over her head and she knew it.

And she was jumping in further. You jump, I jump, kid. "But it's your brain, and you can change them. You can direct where your thoughts go." A pause. "So let's change 'em." Together. Inviting herself along without even being asked.

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xgene
2017-04-10 01:31 am UTC (link)

The sharp pain in his head gave him something else to focus on, it slowed his mind just enough to try drawing in a deeper breath, air that still burned, but was needed. All the basics needed to stay alive, he'd accepted them only because she told him to. Only because, for some reason, he should still be here. He didn't want to be here, didn't want to keep breathing, keep feeling everything and nothing.

"Nothing to change," he practically spat out, dropping his hand from his hair to ball his hands into fists, nails digging into his palms. Ash in his mouth. "All I want to do is die and you won't let me."

At that he David returned his gaze to her, glaring for a fraction of a second before all the anger and vitriol bled away, replaced swiftly with regret and a nice, hefty dosage of guilt. "Your eyes are alive." He said suddenly, voice soft again as he curled up on himself once more. Not entirely convinced she was, he at least recognized that it was... different.

"What is there to change?" He asked suddenly, unable to keep looking at her, his gaze returning to the floor in front of them.

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_donttouch
2017-04-10 01:45 am UTC (link)

"Of course I won't!" She fired back, still staring. Trust was given, but that sure as hell didn't mean that she'd just placidly go along with whatever bullshit ideas he had. When they were crap, she was going to point that out. Stupid boy. Flash in the pan yelling done, Sydney couldn't help but turn sullen at the whole idea of it. "What was all the fighting for anyway if you're just going to quit?"

Glare met for glare, she huffed and hugged her knees close as David cooled down. "I am alive. Right now. This--" One hand released its hold, waving to their surroundings. The pale, sickly blue light in a bunker underneath Summerland. The walls stained with ash and dust and too many memories for anyone to handle. Cary and Kerry stalking and waiting for something, nothing. Anything. "This hasn't happened. This isn't home."

"And I need you," always need you. "I need you to tell me how to go home. How to make sure this never..ever..happens." She was unsure if that was the right answer, but it was the honest answer. And honesty was all she had at the moment.

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xgene
2017-04-10 02:16 am UTC (link)

There was no fighting any more. They'd all fought and he failed. He failed, plain and simple. There was no reason to be alive, to stay when she was gone. For a moment David was entirely convinced that this would degrade to the same screaming match again, the same circular argument. No point in being alive, but he had to be, he always wanted to ask why, because she always said he had to. There as never an answer to be had -- he just trusted her, as much as he hated everything. Hated the nothing.

What she said next was confusing. Everything happened. He'd been there, he'd gone over it a million times, every way he'd failed, every way he'd been completely and utterly unable to save the one thing that mattered in the world. And everything that happened after? There was nothing. The thoughts of others were a mystery in a way they'd never been before. The world couldn't move around him. The door to the Astral Plane was shut. He was trapped, trapped in his own body, and no amount of screaming did anything any more.

"Home," he repeated, frowning. The past? Where this hadn't happened yet.

"It's going to start a war, using Oliver's face to bring mutants together, the angry ones," he said, despite his suspicion. The near-sickening feeling of maybe had the words forming before he could stop them. "We let it happen. But I--" He stopped then, looking to Sydney again and letting himself think her name, take the sight of her in despite the sting of it. "I can't get you back. I can't do anything any more." He was nothing. Empty. And yet he was supposed to be alive.

His brows furrowed then, his mind slowly processing everything. "How-- how are you here?" If she was alive, if she was real, how?

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_donttouch
2017-04-10 02:34 am UTC (link)

She wondered for a moment whether she would be able to get through, whether she had the time it would take to break through the cracks in walls and let sunlight back in. It was funny how time travelers still found themselves without the luxury of that time. And by funny, she meant annoying.

But there it was. A spark, an ember in the ash. She nodded in encouragement, a small smile offered as David recounted a painful past. "Do you know who they were? Can we get to the angry ones first?" More mutants, a full house, safety and camaraderie created rather than more fear and anger. Anger led to hate, hate led to the Dark Side. "How did we let it happen?"

It was a lot of questions, and her mouth screwed up in silent apology for it. It screwed up more when he said that he couldn't do anything anymore. "Could you tell me how to do it?"

Never the 'twain shall meet, but did that count for knowledge? Sydney took a deep breath. All she had was honesty. "You brought me here. On accident. We were.." She stared thoughtfully, wondering how much of their timelines were the same and where they branched off, like trying to guess where a pingpong ball would land dropped on a board full of pegs. "You can time travel. We were at your Dad's funeral. Accidentally found ourselves here."

She jumped, metaphorically, again. Alice and rabbit holes had nothing on Syd. "You're keeping me safe. It's still out there. Watching. And you're keeping us safe from it."

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xgene
2017-04-10 03:08 am UTC (link)

There were too many, too many that were angry. Too many that didn't want to listen to Melanie, too many that were already set in their ways and wanted to lash out at the world. The few they'd been able to bring to their side paid for it with their lives. But he didn't know who they were, he didn't know how the Shadow King found them. All he knew was a specific event, an attack happened somewhere and suddenly... they all managed to find their way to it.

"There was a school," he tried to remember the name of it, but the details were fuzzy. Most of what he remembered was the death toll. "Southwest New York. Apparently it was some cover, a place for mutants to learn how to control their abilities." That was all he knew about it. "It was blown up and... all of a sudden, they flocked to Oliver. I don't-- don't know how, or why, but it started after that school was destroyed." Maybe there was a mutant who could find other mutants, like he sort of could once.

An overwhelming feeling of uselessness hit him when she asked if he could tell her how. He didn't even know he could travel through time. His expression said it all -- he didn't have a clue and it drove his worthlessness home all over again. The pointlessness of being here, being alive, wasting air, resources.

The mention of another version of himself being here made him look away once more, feeling a sense of relief that they were being shielded from that monster's eyes. "I can't help you. I couldn't help you then, I can't help you now." Old, dark anger crept back into his tone. "Division 3 focused on Oliver and that thing inside him, pissing every mutant on his side off. The rest of them, the other Divisions, the government, they just made it worse."

He shook his head before he tipped it down, resting his head on his knees. "A fight broke out, public, messy. Mutants were outed and everything fell apart. The world got so loud, and when I got close, when I tried to--" David wrapped his arms tighter about himself. "Everyone around us died. Everyone."

That was how Ptonomy died. He'd been there, had been too close.

"I practically leveled a mountain trying to stop it, but it didn't matter. It just came here, killed Melanie, and it--" Tilting his head back, eyes staring at the ceiling now. "It grabbed you, touched your skin... but you didn't swap, it just pulled you right out of your body and..." He couldn't finish. David shook his head, eyes closing as he stopped. Stopped talking, stopped thinking. He pushed it all away, everything.

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_donttouch
2017-04-10 01:16 pm UTC (link)

Her eyebrows lifted up at the mention of school, and how integral it would be. Committing the general location to memory, she figured that the specifics of it could be figured out later. Earlier. In the present-future, not this future-present. However it worked out. But when Syd waited for that recollection of time travel, that memory of the crazy amazingness that happened without him even realizing, and it didn’t come, she looked at him with heartbreak. Not just for herself or the David upstairs, but for him. This David and the notion that he didn’t get what he needed, what he had wanted for so long. Did he not ask? Did she say no? What changed? Also, time was apparently not a loop. Her gaze dropped, watching fabric-covered fingers play with one half of another fabric, a rosary shared between them more times now than she could count. “You didn’t even get to go—“ She stopped, shaking her head.

But then her head tilted, gaze slanting over thoughtfully. “Cary said that they didn’t help.” She nodded, “but he also said that they ran away?” There weren’t mental tables long enough to put this jigsaw puzzle together, but she was plucking away at it anyway. Couldn’t do anything but try. And Jesus..leveled a mountain? Super brains on overload, she imagined.

Didn’t swap. She didn’t know that was possible, really. So where did she go? A body was just a body. Where did she go? Sydney looked around, half ready to believe that she’d see her own ghost haunting the tunnels. Ghost of Christmas Future warning about the consequences of fucking up. “I love you, David.” The statement popped out, quiet but firm, leaving no room for denials or arguments, no room for palpable guilt and regret to take her emotions away. “If I didn’t get to tell you. Before, I mean. You are so loved.” It was important to her that he know that. Important to her that he heard it, felt it. It was a long time to spend with the ghosts in your head. Alone. She knew from alone.

She needed to regroup. There was a way to look at this, there had to be another way, that she hadn’t thought of yet. Vaguely, she wished that her brain would allow a split from normal and Rational, giving Rational whatever kind of accent it thought would make her listen. Make her think. “After the funeral, we were trying to figure out how to get home. I suggested that – since you were focusing on the emotions about your dad to go backward – you focus on the feelings of home to go forward. We got lost.” Obviously. But it was driving a stick shift in an area they didn’t know. She just had to draw the map, and found herself wanting for actual pencil and paper.

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xgene
2017-04-10 01:43 pm UTC (link)

Division 3 helped as much as they hurt. It'd been like trying to hit a mosquito with a sledgehammer, all raw power with no good way of being utilized for the specific target. David didn't know how to fix that, didn't know how to change what happened. It was all just a blur, a haze of death and horror. Everyone around him had all these plans, ideas -- he reacted as best he could, but nothing he did was ever enough.

One clear memory though, was what happened to Syd, the very essence of her being, when it was ripped out of her, her own power turned against her. But he couldn't say it. Couldn't repeat it. It made his blood run cold like it'd been replaced by ice water.

The admission of love had his eyes opening again, looking at Syd with every ounce of guilt he had in him. David loved her, so, so much. Not a day went by where she wasn't on his mind, active in a ghostly manner, or simply re-running every memory he had of her as much as possible to keep himself from giving up the only thing he had left: his damned life.

Words stolen from him, his eyes fell as she spoke about getting lost in time. "Emotions made everything I could do unpredictable," he offered, voice soft and rough again as he felt himself shutting down. Any energy or flicker of hope there once was drained by the image of Syd's death. "They're a trigger, and they work, but... triggers also make an ex-junkie want to use again." Essentially, they were dangerous when used too much and pushed too far.

"It used a blade," David said suddenly, eyes distant as his shoulders went slack, "made of pure, psychic energy... to cut your soul into pieces." A beat. "Then ash. Nothing but ash."

Falling silent then, looking much as he had when Sydney first entered, the memory of it ran over and over and over again. Unstopping, no detail missed. Over and over.

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