Alright, kiddies. Someone, anyone, want to explain this fascination with guns? I’m honestly so damn tired of waking up to the news channel telling me so and so was shot in the face. It’s old, it’s boring, and if we are being completely honest here, guns are for pussies. Wow, you killed someone from across the room, slow fucking clap for you. Do it right, get in nice and close and slice someone open. Stop being so afraid to get your hands dirty. Now if anyone needs me I will be boycotting the news channels until once again someone can do something spectacular to impress me, you know, when they find a nice collection of body parts stored in jars in a basement.