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I have green toenails [19 Jan 2008|12:26am] [ mood | crushed ] I feel like crap right now. Let me just say, if you're at all depressed, sad, or freaked out about something, Cloverfield probably isn't the movie to see lol. Aim more towards a comedy :) It was good, though. It was scary, but not in typical scary-movie fashion. More like.... you feel as if you're actually going through the ordeal with the people? It was all shot with a hand-held camera, which makes me feel kinda queazy, but that's also cuz of my nephew's driving lol. It also makes me think people will think Thommy copied off the movie when his script has been written for YEARS, but that's besides the point. There was some pretty great dialogue in the movie as well. But today felt so off. At work I was dropping things and making mistakes. Then I felt guilty about not staying at the hospital longer, even though I didn't drive, so it wasn't my choice. AND I felt bad for not staying the night there, even though they said I couldn't. And I feel like I suck hardcore because my mom gave me $20 for food, but I didn't use it. I'm just gonna tell her that we saw a movie and then completely forgot I had it. She probably won't care, but I still feel bad. I feel so sad and so out of control with everything that's going on. I feel fragile and expendable, unimportant yet vital. I feel like I want to be gone, but I so desperately want to stay. I'm afraid of the future and all this apprehension is just growing and growing... I hate feeling this way. I wish something good was on tv. I know I have my dvds but I can't bring myself to put something on. *sigh* This is gonna get better, right? 2 comments|post comment

[17 Jan 2008|04:59pm] [ mood | sad ] *sigh* So my sister is back in the hospital. She has a pelvic infection, so they want her back for a few days. I'm so stressed. I'm just glad that I was the one to answer the phone. If my mom had relayed the information to me, I'd probably be feeling a lot worse right now because she is so negative. As for the tumor they found, I guess it's up to her if she wants radiation? Apparently if it's a certain size, then they do radiation. If it's under a certain size, they don't. Hers is on the borderline, so it's up to her. I think she should do it, to be on the safe side. Ugh. This is so lame. At least I found my mp3 player. When I travel with my mom I can play it full blast so I don't hear her comments about how bad this is, and so I don't hear her sighs or how depressed she is. I don't think she or my brother-in-law realize that positive thoughts create positive vibes, and positive vibes create positive results. With all this negativity surrounding her, no wonder things keep going wrong. When I'm depressed or scared or whatever, I like to indulge myself in my tv on dvd. Therefore when I saw the complete Buffy series on sale for $100 at Costco, I jumped right on that. So what if I already have all the individual seasons? It's different :P Also, Target had season 7 of Gilmore Girls on sale, and season 1 of Psyche. That's plenty of tv distracting goodness for me. Yum. post comment

Survey I stole from Meggle boo [16 Jan 2008|07:24pm] [ mood | stressed ] 1.) Have you ever done a report or research on achondroplasia?: No. 2.) Do you even know what that is? No and I don't really care atm. 4.) Have you ever ran into a tree on your bike?: I'm sure something along those lines has happened. 5.) Do you watch and like the show Hannah Montana?: I'm watching it now. I love it, it makes me happy :) 6.) Do you know who Criss Angel is?: Yes, he's a man-whore. 7.) Is he better than Houdini or not even close to being as great as him?: I don't know, but he's a man-whore. 8.) Have you graduated from high school yet? What year?: 2002 9.) What's your top 3 favorite colors?: Purple, blue, pink 10.) How about your top 7 favorite perfume/cologne scents?: I don't know, I like that one scent by "Flirt!" that isn't out yet, just in samples. 11.) Do you have anything not visible pierced (Tongue, navel, genital, nape of neck, surface piercings[when they're on your stomach or collar bones, etc.])?: Navel. 11.) Do you own an iPod?: mp3 player, they're better :P 12.) How many songs does it have?: a butt-ton. 13.) What color and make is it?: White, creative zen micro 14.) Are you in a relationship or single?: Single 15.) Hatin' it or lovin' it?: After i what i went through, loving it <--aye. 16.) Do you like the show the Replacements?: It's cute, but I don't really watch it. 17.) Do you play any instruments? If so, which one(s)?: no, but I wanna pick up guitar again. 18.) Which is better: Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory or Charlie & The Chocolate Factory?: Never saw "Charlie," it looked spooky lol 19.) Do you label yourself emo? Or, are labels just stupid?: No. 20.) What kind of shampoo and conditioner do you prefer to use?: I don't care. 21.) Are you a good singer?: Used to be.. 22.) Do you love or absolutely despise Myspace?: neither. 23.) Are you married? No. 24.) What's your top 5 favorite animals?: Tigers, puppies, kitties, monkey?, and umm... idk 25.) Are you a social outcast?: no 26.) Do you like Avenged Sevenfold?: what I've heard. 27.) How about 18 Visions?: Never heard of em 28.) Do you watch Headbanger's Ball on MTV 2?: nope. 30.) Have you ever been to Worlds of Fun?: huh? I don't do drugs, if that's what you're asking lol 31.) Ever met a celebrity? Who?: Yes. Rene Zelweger, Jack White, Simple Plan guys, Gob... and I can't remember lol 32.) Do you think Zacky Vengeance is sexy?: Who huh? 33.) Do you even know who that is?: no 35.) Is Angelina Jolie sexy?: I guess, not my type though lol. I don't have a Tomb Raider layout, after all :P 36.) Are you a virgin?: No. 37.) What color is your iPod, cd player, or MP3?: White 38.) Who's your favorite Spongebob Squarepants character?: idk. 39.) Is wild cherry Pepsi from the wild?: sure... 40.) Are you currently tired? If so, do you have a reason?: Yes, I'm stressed the FUCK out and I spent the night at Lori's. I apparently woke up everytime she moved and asked if she was okay lol 41.) Are you destined to be alone?: I think I am sometimes <-- me too 42.) Is there snow on the ground where you live? How much?: Yep. 43.) Are you wearing pajamas?: No, I just got home from class. 44.) Are you deathly afraid of anything? What?: I'm too scared to say right now. 45.) Is this survey pissing you off, curing your boredom or neither?: it's a distraction. 47.) How many times have you dyed your hair?: I don't know.... 5-10? 52.) Are you hungry? If so, what are you craving?: No I'm not. And maybe salad. Or buttered noodles with parmesan cheese. 53.) Are you annoyed?: No. 54.) At who/what?: not 55.) Is it cold outside?: No, it's 85,000 degrees out and that's why there's snow on the ground. It's so hot that everything froze :P 56.) Where are you currently?: my room. 57.) Are you with friends?: Not unless you me, myself and I as friends. 58.) How about family?: Mom downstairs 59.) Boyfriend/Girlfriend?: Me, myself and I... and my vibrator? lmao 60.) Last question. Did you enjoy this survey?: I don't know. post comment

[16 Jan 2008|06:54pm] [ mood | depressed ] Man, I miss being upset about Scott. Whoooa there, rewind! Did she just say that? Well yeah. She did. I hate this. I feel like I can barely hold it together. Tomorrow is Lori's doctor's appointment where she'll find out if she still has cancer or not. I hate that word. I hate that concept. This sucks. I was sitting in my Photo 2 class with my date book thing to write down my assignments. Every so often, during the lecture, I would glance down at the little box for Thursday and see "10 - Lori's appt." It would make my stomach churn and cause a stab of fear and sadness in my heart. Finally, I had to just shut the book. If I can't see it, it's not real. If I'm focused on something else, it's momentarily forgotten. THAT'S why I wish this was just another boy issue. Because in the end, who cares? Who cares if you're together or not? It's something that can be gotten over. There will always be another guy. There will be promise. But this... I'm so scared that there is no promise, that the news will just keep on being bad. This is real. I'd give anything to be miserable myself over a guy if it would make Lori healthy and normal again. I really would. Even if I had to trade positions with her. It scares me to say that, too. Last night I almost got into a fight with her husband. Well, her "husband". I was talking about how depressing he and my mom are when they're together and he started off like.. Him: "I was thinking about how I had to tell her that she still might have cancer, would you want to tell her that?" Me: "No." Him: "Well that's what I was thinking, about how *I* had to be the one to tell her. I've been with her for 13 years--" Me: "I've been with her for 24!" That's all I really remember. But whatever. I wish my mom would get off the computer, I need an art fix and I need it NOW. I need my music on loud, and I NEED to create. What I'm working on is on the OTHER computer. Ugh. Make her leave it :P 1 comment|post comment

[13 Jan 2008|06:02pm] [ mood | tired ] Well, that was sure a long week! My sister is home now. I don't trust my brother-in-law to take awesome care of her, but w/e. She wanted to stay there. She feels a lot better today, which is good. Also, my other sis took work off tomorrow to go over there. That's good. I'm thinking about staying over there Tuesday night and coming back home on Wednesday before class. Of course, I'll have to buy some allergy meds, cuz she has a kitty. Who, by the way, is fat and chubby and so freakin' cute. I want one! *sigh* This week has been so busy that I haven't even began my assignment to make an outline for a paper. I barely was even able to think of a topic, which is why I'm glad I discussed it with my therapist. I'm just gonna do an aspect of Narcissism. I already have 2 books on the subject and I wanted to learn about it anyway. It's not very fun, but oh well. I can always change my mind later! I haven't heard back from one teacher, whose class I missed :( AND I keep forgetting to call Robin to schedule my Advanced Studio. This is lame. LAME I tell you! I will try to remember to call her during work tomorrow. Meh. I guess I should try out that outline now, eh? 2 comments|post comment

Kah-poo-kah witz [12 Jan 2008|10:39pm] [ mood | exhausted ] Omg. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO TIRED. Seriously, like... can't walk straight, slurring my words, practically drunk tired lol Last night I stayed the night at the hospital. It was so uncomfortable lol. I would have done it tonight too, but I was SO tired that I couldn't. I had to get decent sleep. I really wanted to stay, though. My sister was in horrible amounts of pain. She almost passed out from it. They FINALLY gave her something and she's okay now. They better keep up with that. They say that a nerve was cut during surgery, so that's probably what's causing it. Then, one of her legs was cool and the other was really warm. I hope that's nothing bad. We did put on these things that are supposed to help with circulation, so hopefully that fixes the problem. The nurses said that it shouldn't be anything bad. Ugh. I really wish that she would come HERE after the hospital. My family would take SO much better care of her than her husband would. For realz. post comment

For when I am weak... [10 Jan 2008|10:05pm] [ mood | anxious ] Yeah yeah I know. Three entries in one day. BUT if you think about it, this is the only one that counts because the first one was a rant, and the second was a review. Am I right? Am I right?! Well I'll just say I'm right. So I was just thinking about how I should read while waiting for the butthole to show up with the money he now owes my mom. I didn't want to start my next book yet ("Specials", the third in the "Uglies" series), so I considered reading more in my, what I suppose you could call, self-help book. *shudder* I instantly froze up with a feeling which was once disguised as "I don't feel like it". But now that my eyes are opening up a bit to the situation, I realized that it was fear. Congratulations, dear readers, you get a little insight into the crazy world that is me. Yes, I'm afraid to read the next section of this book. Why? Well simply because I'm afraid it'll be a malicious little page and it will bite me. I don't like papercuts. Yeah I wish that was the reason lol. The next chapter in my book teaches me how to cope. AKA, how to CHANGE. How to stand up for myself and make myself my own person, separate from my mom. Even typing it caused a stabbing of fear. Weird, eh? Not really. Not with how I was raised. Do I really want to go into it? No, not at all. But I suppose I should, to be fair. But only a little bit! Basically when my father passed away, the roles were reversed. (Heart rate now speeding up). I was no longer the child, I was the parent. It was up to me to make my mom happy. (There go the sweaty palms). She... well let's just say that things haven't really changed much. (Cue the taste of fear on my tongue). That's about all I can do. Do you see how bad it is? I feel a lot of fear and guilt just TELLING somebody about it. Which I guess is why I should write about it more. But not now lol. Back to the fear of change. I was raised to be dependent, not independent. To fear everything. That it was wrong to go out and have fun while my mom was at home. I'm expected to read her mind and know what she needs and follow through with them. OMG the fucking guilt for putting all this down. I think my hands are shaking. Where's my brother-in-law???? So basically. If this chapter causes me to grow as a person, it will separate me from her. For twenty-some years I was taught to never ever do that. Hence, reading the Chapter O' Change = YIPES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay. I'm going to hit that little "post button" before I freak out and delete this whole thing. I have to write about it, it's good for me. Good good good. Yeah whatever. 1 comment|post comment

BreakupBabe [10 Jan 2008|08:47pm] [ mood | annoyed ] Title: BreakupBabe Author: Rebecca Agiewich Copyright date: 2006 Publisher: Ballantine Books How many pages: 337 How long it took me to read: A little over a week Category: Chick Lit / Blogging I learned about this book from: Seeing it at Target This book was purchased at: Target :) This book is: Funny and addictive, and something you can totally relate to if you're a girl who's had her heartbroken, dated a loser, and is/was afraid of the single life. Other books by this author: n/a I would recommend this book: Pretty much to any girl, for sure. Favorite characters: Actually, Needy Girl and Sensible Girl.. ahahaha. Least favorite Characters: Loser and Loserette :) When and Where the story takes place: On Rachel's blog, but it's also interlaced with actual goings on. Plot in a nutshell: Rachel is a writer whose boyfriend breaks up with her. She decides to start a blog to vent her pain and quickly gets addicted to it. The blog ends up stirring up some trouble for her, but it also helps her in a dream to publish a book. Main characters: Rachel aka "BreakupBabe" What I liked best: I really liked reading her blogs and comments. It's just like real life, when you see that there are 5 comments, you're like "Yesssss!" but if there's none, you're sad, haha. It's also pretty sweet that they link you to her ACTUAL blog of the same name. What I liked least: I would have liked more closure in the end, but the ending was pretty hopeful and promising, so that's good. Overall Rating: Great book for anyone with a brokenheart, or who has suffered one recently. People I think should read it: Hailey, Laura, Kristen, Jamie, Candy :) 2 comments|post comment

Men are such ass holes. [10 Jan 2008|06:41pm] [ mood | angry ] [ music | Britney Spears // Blackout ] So for the second night in a row I did NOT want to be near my brother-in-law. Now, I've never had surgery. So we're gonna do some thinkin' here. Imagine that you just got operated on and found out that there is a possibility you will have to get radiation afterall. You're tired from not sleeping all night, and you're in a lot of pain because you had some of yourself removed the night before, and are stapled shut. You are on a diet of liquids only, and really want to eat something. Owie. So what happens now? Your family is supportive. You get flowers, balloons, stuffed animals, lots of love and visitors. What you SHOULDN'T get is a call from your husband saying "The gas is getting shut off today if we don't pay the bill. Ask your mom if we can borrow her credit card." WHAT. THE. FUCK. Why would he do that? WHY? My sister hung up the phone after talking to him, said "I hate him!" and started crying. She didn't fucking need this added onto all of her other stress! He should have called HIS mom. He should have called and asked to speak to my mom HIMSELF and asked her. Why the HELL would he put this on Lori? WHY? Well guess what, it shouldn't even have happened in the first place. It's his job to pay the bills. When my sister needed money for Christmas, he said "I have to pay the bills". He gave her NOTHING. He keeps all his money for himself. And if it's his job to pay the bills, why aren't they fucking PAID? Lori is such an amazing person. I wish she'd leave him. I really wish she would. She could do so much better, and she deserves so much better. I'm so pissed off right now. 5 comments|post comment

[09 Jan 2008|08:59pm] [ mood | worried ] So I really don't want to get into this too much, because I want to hold myself together as much as possible. My mother is SO pessimistic. My sister's surgery lasted longer than expected, because they found what could be more cancer. They took out what they could, and are going to test to see if it is cancerous. The doctor's could not remove anymore, so if it IS cancer, she will have to go through radiation treatments. You guys, it was horrible. Her husband was crying, my mom was like a blackhole of negativity. Even when they didn't speak, they were depressing everyone around them. I couldn't handle it, so I went and hid in the coat room and called my sister, Renee. She said that she'd call right back. While I was waiting for her call, Ashley (17) and Gary (15?) came in the room as well. They couldn't handle my mom and brother-in-law either. I mean, it's important to be there for your family, and it's only natural to be worried but they were taking it to an extreme. There was just a fog of dispair around them. We wanted to think better thoughts, to stay positive. My sister called me back and I ended up crying lol. My niece threatened to throw me out of the "depression-free" room. But it was just the pent up anger and fear. Renee was very rational and still optimistic. She said that we KNEW this could happen. That we DON'T know if it IS bad, and if it is, there's treatments. We can't just freak out. So she helped. After I hung up, the 3 of us stayed in the room a while. I kept catching my mom staring at me, and then she sent Gary (Big Gary, not Baby Gary) into the room to see what we were doing. If we caught either one of them smiling, it was a shock. *sigh* But I'm home now. At least Lori had, what? 12 people there for her? And trust me, that's only a fraction of our family. She was in pain, but they gave her a morphine drip and something else. I hope she feels better tomorrow and is staying positive, if she finds out the news. I think she'll love the quilt we made, and she already got presents yesterday, so that made her happy as well. Anyway. Gonna go read some entries and finish assembling this thing. Everyone, PLEASE pray! 3 comments|post comment

Cold as fire baby, hot as ice [08 Jan 2008|11:21pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | Britney Spears // Blackout ] So, Beady-Eyed Mongoose strikes again. So today I'm at work and it's actually going pretty well. I sort of blew off the first hour, but it was talking to Eddie so whatever lol. I love Eddie. He's so funny. He got married at 19, has been with his wife 40 years, they both ride motorcycles, neither of them have ever smoked or done drugs, and he's drank exactly ONCE in his life. He's what, 55 or so? And he's very punny. (Example, he went into a store that sells cherry products, and upon leaving said, "Thank you cherry much!" to the cashier lol. He cracks me up). And then I took my sweet time pricing the fence. Not because I meant to, but because the first printer I got just would NOT scan, and the first roll of stickers I used kept jamming. Meh. But it finished. Lori was really sick, and she had 4 trucks to receive. It's a really lengthy process, but I enjoy it, and I enjoy helping her. So when I was asked to assist her, I was all for it. So we're working. Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work we go... We go to lunch. Yum. We get back, and about 10 minutes later, Marianne texts Lori and it says "Alvin is tired of". Well okay then lol. We hunt her down. Apparently Alvin told her that he was sick of Lori complaining and leaving early. He's thinking of demoting her to a cleaning position and giving me and Lisa her job. Umm HELLO? That's not how it works! FIRST of all, jack-shit, she is not a CLEANER. If she finished her work, Kevin TOLD HER that she can leave early. It costs the company money for her to stay later, anyway, and if her job is DONE, then she does NOT HAVE TO STAY! Also, the BEM is pissed that Lori won't STAY PAST HER SHIFT to CLEAN FRIDGES! HI! Again, NOT HER JOB! Why the HELL would she stay late to do NOT HER JOB?!??! Lori called Kevin and told her that she heard all this when she was about to go into the office. He said that no, he can NOT just demote her or fire her. First off, she has to be written up twice and then KEVIN has to approve it. Ha. That's not happening. Kevin is a good person! And Alv... er, the BEM, is a chauvinistic, lazy-ass power-tripping freak! When we were setting up the Day After Thanksgiving sale, Alvin worked. Katherine and I ended up staying late. Alvin got one or two other employees to help us work. When we were setting up the Day After Christmas sale, Kevin worked. Katherine and I, again, ended up staying late. Kevin HIMSELF helped! He got a roll of red tags and started tagging the refrigeration section, and THEN, because she and I stayed so late, he said the next day we worked, we could go home as soon as we finished the sale! (We didn't finish it that day). Now THAT is a good manager, and a good person. Definitely not a woman-hater. And Alvin IS a cocky bastard who thinks women are beneath him. When Lori's husband came in to visit one day, Alvin said "Thanks for letting her work with us." Um, ex-squeeze me? Baking powder? LETTING her work? As if she needed his permission! I'm serious, no one likes this prick. I left in a HORRIBLE mood. Good thing I had therapy right after work, lol. I got to vent about the BEM. I hate him. I told my therapist that I actually liked my job, I like the people I work with, but I HATE him. I hope his stupid ass gets fired. I swear, the SECOND he does something wrong I'm calling that 1-800 number. Ugh. In other news, my sister's surgery is tomorrow. Most of her quilt card is patched together, except for a few that either haven't arrived yet, or haven't dried yet. Or haven't been made yet lol. I will admit, I'm a bit nervous, but everyone is praying and I'm trying to stay as positive as I can. Hopefully after this she'll be back to her happy self. I don't like my sister depressed :( OH and OMG One Tree Hill. I HATED Nathan for the first hour and fifty-five minutes lol. He redeemed himself in the end though, so I suppose I'll end up forgiving him. I really like this show, and Supernatural of course. Here's hoping that the CW doesn't fuck it up like every other good show they've had their grubby little hands on :P PS-- Um, why is it that I can't choose an icon until AFTER I post the entry? Wee-uhhld. 2 comments|post comment

And now I'm ready to be.... [07 Jan 2008|10:48pm] [ mood | pained ] Ah so how do we start the entry for today? It's funny how, when you don't write it seems like you have nothing to write about. BUT once you DO actually write, suddenly there's a pluthera of opportunity in the blogging department. Of course it probably just fuels the fire that I'm reading a book ABOUT blogging. Kinda. Well, you'll see when I post the review, a la Candy-style :) Anyway. Last night I could NOT sleep. Which is completely craptastical when you have to work at 7:30 am. But whatever. I showered really quick in the morning, figuring that it would give me at least somewhat of a jolt to start the day. If I hadn't I probably would have just continued to hit "snooze" anyway. Meh. So I get to work, and set off on my first duty of the day, pricing the fence. The fence is quite literally, a fence. It's chainlink and separates the sales floor from the back warehouse area. You can't usually see one side from the other, though, because on the floor there's rows of refrigerators. And if you didn't know, those things are pretty tall. :) Anyway, on the fence's backside (giggle), stock people line up merchandise that is needed out on the floor. It's my job to scan the barcodes and print the stickers with the prices on them. I have to check off whether or not the item is used or new, and also that it is damaged. It actually gets a little more complicated than that, but that's a story for another time. So anyway, there's Jackie, la la la, pricing the fence, when I'm told by --Craig? Al? I can't remember who, but someone told me that there would be a meeting in Alvin's office. Again. Boy does that beady-eyed little mongoose love his meetings. Let's get this straight. I hate him. HAAAAATE him. I think you'd be hard-pressed to find someone in the store who actually LIKES him. Ack. Alvin is our newest manager. He replaced Dave back in July which was a bittersweet moment. I LIKE Dave. He's a good guy. But he's also the step-father of my ex-ass hole, so it was good to have that seperation. Alvin seemed cool at the beginning, but now... he's just a Grade A PRICK. I'm serious! Let's list off some of the bullshit he's pulled, shall we? **Umm before I do that, I'd just like to comment on the fact that we have a Tornado Watch. In freakin' JANUARY. If something happens, just know that.. to those I love, I just want to say, I love you! ** Okay, so that list... -He marches up to you, tells you what to do, and then walks away without a hello. -He tries to change people. -His wife is very easily offended, and if we are doing/wearing/whatevering something that she would find offensive, we can't do/wear/whatever it. Puh-leaze Alvin! We don't know your wife and we don't give a crap what she thinks! -He threw away someone's magazine because it mentioned "Divorce" on the cover, when he himself has had one. Ew. Okay dude, you were so at all the book burnings in your past lives, weren't you?! -We are not allowed to drink out of the drink fountains. Don't ask me, I don't know! -He told Lori once that she WAS staying past her scheduled time and that he would *try* to get her out on time. Bite me, jackass. You can't DO that! -He scheduled Friday off, the day a BIG BOSS was coming in, for a doctor's appointment for a physical. Today, he would NOT let Lori take the day off to go to the doctor to see about some major issues with her FOOT! Okay fuckface, that is NOT cool. Selfish conceited prick-faced jack-hole! -He came up to me when I was about to be late punching out and was talk-talk-talking to me about finding Marianne so she could show me what merchandise we were sending out so that I could clean it (said merch is known as a "truck" for future fuck I just saw lightning. Sorry. Future reference). Okay, first of all SHUT UP! I've BEEN cleaning these stupid trucks for a looong time I know where they are! And further more, that truck wasn't being sent out for another 2 weeks! Grrrrr. There's a ton more but I'm just pissing myself off right now. At least people were talking back to him today. In that dumbass meeting he said that we can blame him for the truck not getting wrapped and Marianne was like "I DO blame you!" I laughed a lot. I love her. And THEN today, the day of Lori's appointment, he was gabbing on during our SECOND meeting of the day about dress code. She told him flat out that she was wearing what she had. Kudos to you, babe! I swear, if he ever says a WORD to me about being on my phone while it's with my sister, I will rip him a new one. No joke. You don't fuck with me when it comes to my family, especially when they need me. Ugh. OH OH speaking of phone! (It's raining now, btw). This is something else he did: *Jackie decides to be nice and stay late at work to help out Lori with a truck, even though she is meeting her friend later for dinner* *Jackie calls up said friend and leaves a voicemail letting her know that she would be at work an hour or so later* *Alvin walks by while Jackie is on the phone* *Jackie walks up to Marianne and Katherine just in time to here Alvin send M a page over the WALKIE TALKIES* Alvin: Tell Jackie she can't be on her cell phone during work. Ohhhhhh I wanted to rip him 5 new ones. Seriously! FIRST OF ALL, we are ALLOWEDDDDD to be on the phone at work as long as that's not ALL we do, and as long as it's not on the FLOOR! SECOND OF ALL!!!!!!!! The sales people talk on their phones, all the time, ON THE FLOOR!!! Yell at them you dicklicker! FINALLY, I'm doing YOU a fucking favor. At least have the maturity to not PAGE OVER THE WHOLE WALKIE TALKIE SYSTEM and BROADCAST my business all over the place. Talk to me yourself you prick, you were what, 50 feet away from me? He'll also page someone on the walkies to have THEM page someone else on the walkie to come see him. How fucking lazy and arrogant can you get? I hate him. HATE HIM. That rant just spoiled my journal writing mood, and now my wrist hurts lol Today's bullshit DID rekindle the idea I had to write a book about The Outlet. I do have some GREAT characters there, I just dunno what the plot would be! Anyone have any ideas? Also, I have to write a paper for school on something I am passionate about, and we have to give a presentation as well. Anyone have any ideas? My outline is due next Monday :P 5 comments|post comment

Last call, ladies and gents! [07 Jan 2008|06:09pm] [ mood | bouncy ] My sister's surgery is coming up rather quickly. It's on Wednesday, in fact. The day after tomorrow! AND in a mere 6 hours, it will in fact BE tomorrow. It's crazy. Tomorrow night I'm putting together a large "get well soon/we love you" card so-to-speak for her. It's actually going to be a paper quilt. Everyone is decorating a piece of paper that is 6 x 6 in, with anything their heart desires. It can be funny, pretty, cute, inspirational, WHATEVER. As long as it's for Lori, and it's positive, I'm all for it. So far I have about 20 squares (and there are more on the way from various friends and relatives). This is the last call for anyone who wants to contribute to this quilt/card. Whether you know my sister or not, you are welcome to make something for her. Believe me, she'll love it. I know a lot of you are out of state, (some out of country!) but you can still contribute by either a). Making something on the computer and sending it to me or b). E-mailing me what you would like to include on your square, and I will gladly decorate one for you. But if you're set on making something yourself, you are more than welcome to. Just let me know, and I'll leave a space to glue in your quilt square. Thank you so much everyone! Keep those prayers coming! post comment

[06 Jan 2008|08:26pm] [ mood | sick ] 1. It's midnight. Who are you texting? The only people I really text/get texts from are Jamie, Laura, Laura, and Kristen. So one of them lol 2. It's Wednesday afternoon, where are you usually? Work. But I have class starting soon, so I'll be there! 3. Who are the last four people to send you a text message? Ha. Umm see #1 4. What brand of shampoo is in your shower right now? Herbal Essence & some other stuff 5. Honestly, if you could have ANYONE in the world, who would it be? Jensen Ackles :) 6. What are you listening to? Nothing, I was READING, bitch! 7. Your christmas list consists of? I didn't make one, really 8. Your ex just asked you out and you say? Um... no. 9. You're going to New York for school shopping, where do you go first? Macy's, probably. 10. You need a new pair of jeans, what store do you go to first? Charlotte Russe 11. How do you feel about your hair? My bangs are too short, but other than that, it's all gravy baby 12. What time do you wake up for school? depends! 13. What movie is in your DVD player? Uh I think Doctor Who was the last thing I had in there. 15. Who calls you by a nickname? Laura lol 16. What side of the bed do you sleep on? non-wall side. 17. Do you like roller coasters? yepper doodle dandy! 18. Favorite T.V. show? Oh GEEZ. So many. 19.You last e-mail was from? Chewie, lmao 20. Favorite Beverage? Iced tea, coffee, water. 21. When's the next time you'll kiss someone of the opposite sex? Who cares? 22. What do your pants look like? dark jeans. 23. Are you tired? eh kinda. Still feel sick. 24. Do you have to pee? Yes but I just noticed. Thanks a lot, jerk. 25. Would you hug the cook of tonight's dinner? Nope. Crazy fast food people. 27. Laugh much? I think I used to? 28. What are your plans for Saturday? Meh. Probably a bar thing, I dunno. 29. What is the dumbest thing you have ever done with your cellphone? Threw it. 30. Favorite sit down restaurant? I don't really know. 31. Bubble gum flavor of choice? Strawberry Lime - the squishy kind! 33. What you want to be when you grow up? *sigh* don't ask me that question, it scares me lol 34. The most excitement you had this week? Ummm... Target/Best Buy today with 2 awesomes :) 36. Have you ever sat all the way through Gone With the Wind? Nope 37. When was the last time you were up all night? *shrug* what counts as all night? I think I was up til 3 last night. 39. Where is your favorite place? Idk. 40. Do you ever think about the price of gasoline? Who doesn't? 41. Do you sleep with a fan on? Every night! OMG I slept at my sister's the other night and it was so hard to fall asleep cuz I didn't have one! 42. What's the best thing about winter? pretty snow. Not nasty exhaust fumey snow. 43. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking? Often. I have issues. 44. How many states have you been to? IDK. 45. Are you currently planning a trip? Kinda, I guess. 46. Who was the last person you read something out loud to? Ummmm... I can't remember. Heh. 47. Last time you forced yourself to do something? Today, to wake up. 48. Have you ever googled your name and found somebody? No? 49. Who's your number one on your top? My Jamie Lee niece/bestest buddy ol' pal 50. You drive? Yes 51. What makes you feel like you are young again? Cartoons? 52. Do you ever type "kik" or ";p';" instead of "lol"? yep. 53. Do you know how to play chess? Nope, but I think I did when I was like 2 54. What's on your mind right now? I don't want to worrrrk tomorrow, I don't wanna go to schoooool tomorrow, and my sister's surgery. 55. Do you want to take something back that happened in the last week? Nope 2 comments|post comment

Not so friends only? [06 Jan 2008|07:40pm] [ mood | sick ] All right, well. I've decided to post some stuff on here publicly. Simply because knowing only one person on here makes it kinda sad. Therefore, if by chance some random peeps come along and take a gander at this, maybe I'll make new friends and be able to amuse somebody other than myself. However, I'm keeping my "Friends only" banner up, because it's cute. And someday, maybe it will go back to that :) I was so pissed off at myself. Laura and I planned to go to Target today, so I set my alarm so that I'd wake up during a pre-afternoon hour. Yeahhhh, didn't happen. The alarm went off and I must have shut it right back down because I didn't awaken until she texted me at 1:30 saying that she had fallen asleep. Well dammit. Therefore, my disaster area of room that quite literally looks like a bomb went off (minus the ash and splintered wood I suppose) wasn't cleaned today. And we had to work on projects in the computer room, which kinda looks like a mini-bomb went off. I got to make prints of some of Laura's wedding pictures, too! They're so cute. However, $2000 is a little extreme to pay for photography. Therefore I may not hire this guy if I ever have photo needs. Too bad, cuz he's quite good at his job! So yeah, we got to go to Target, and of COURSE stopped at the lil built-in Starbucks they have there (tis our tradition). We both got iced coffee. Mmmm. Then made some prints and did a bit of shopping. THEN we came back here and attempted to make a disc with pictures on it (for some reason, the kiosk at Target will only load the first 333 pictures on her cd, and we needed the ones after it as well!) and she worked on the square for my sister's project. Thennnnn Jamie called and we scurried up to Best Buy with her. She wanted to get Nip/Tuck s4, and she only paid $1.19 for it, the lucky bitch ;) She had a $20 gift card and then I let her use my $5 off. When we got back, Laura and I attempted to make Chewie a myspace, but my computer just wasn't having it. So Laura is gonna try when she gets home, which, she should be arriving there any minute now. I also found out that a certain friend invited a certain ex of mine up to a certain hangout that IS mine, thinking I wouldn't be there. She didn't tell me about this at all! Luckily, I have friends who do tell me these things. I have no idea how to think or feel about this. I really could give two craps on ice about He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, but still. I give plenty of craps about my friends! So yes. Confuzzlement here. Confuzzlement all around! 2 comments|post comment

[05 Jan 2008|09:45pm] [ mood | artistic ] 1 comment|post comment

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