InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "RAW"

b.d.p. (_deni) wrote,
@ 2010-05-23 21:28:00

Close friends and family only.
We tried again. It didn't take. There's so many steps, so many precautions to this. But .. it'll be worth it when it works. Just have to keep reminding myself of that. It'll be worth it and it will work. Some day.

(Post a new comment)

	Blake _kingston 2010-05-24 05:25 am UTC (link)
	I still love you no sex and all. We could always adopt you know? I mean if this doesn't work out. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	King _deni 2010-05-24 08:29 pm UTC (link)
	I know we could. But I'm not sure if I want to. I mean, I adopted Kayla. She's ours now. But .. I guess I'm just clinging to the hope that we can have a baby that's a part of the two of us. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Blake _kingston 2010-05-24 08:34 pm UTC (link)
	Maybe we could start the adoption process? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	King _deni 2010-05-24 08:38 pm UTC (link)
	Are you saying that you'd rather not try anymore? I want to try again. I want to try and have our own baby. But .. if you'd rather just give up and adopt then .. yeah, fine. We'll just go start the adoption process. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Blake _kingston 2010-05-24 08:41 pm UTC (link)
	That's not what I said at all. Just the adoption process can take years, I figured why not just get our foot in the door just in case? Unless adopting just isn't in the cards for you. I just...you're going in what tomorrow? So...try again and we'll just have a back up plan that's all. It's like being a general you gotta have back up plans. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

King

_deni
2010-05-24 08:45 pm UTC (link)

I know that having a back up plan is a good idea. I get that. And I get that it takes years to make it through the adoption process, especially if you want a baby rather than an older child. But I guess I just feel that if we start now, it's jinxing the possibility of us having one of our own. Like .. I don't know, having a back up plan almost feels like we're giving up.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Blake _kingston 2010-05-24 08:48 pm UTC (link)
	We're not giving up we can keep trying. I just think maybe we can adopt as well...eventually. Depends on how many kids you want in this house...though I might have to buy a bigger house! Just, I don't know I think we should explore all avenues together, but if adopting isn't what you want then forget I mentioned it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

King

_deni
2010-05-24 09:24 pm UTC (link)

I never thought I'd have kids. I never thought I'd have the chance. So .. I don't want to give up. We've come this far and .. I don't want to just give up. I don't know about adopting. I don't know how I feel about it. Adopting Kayla was one thing because .. I love her to pieces, she feels like mine, she's .. been mine about as long as she's been yours. And .. I don't know. I just .. if you want to look into it, we can. I guess it wouldn't hurt.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Blake. _kingston 2010-05-24 09:29 pm UTC (link)
	Just..you aren't into it so nevermind about it ok? (Reply to this) (Parent)

	__jeni 2010-05-24 10:12 pm UTC (link)
	You know it'll be worth it, D. Just keep believing that it can happen. I believe it can happen for you. And I'll keep believing that until it does. So, what we doin'? And don't say nothing, cause nothing gets you ice cream and chick flicks, and you wouldn't want to make me watch chick flicks, wouldja? (Reply to this) (Thread)

Jeni.

_deni
2010-06-02 10:32 pm UTC (link)

It's not taking. We've tried 4 times. The first time it took and .. but we lost it. And every time since has just been .. I have another appointment on Monday and I don't even want to tell King about it. I'm just gonna go and do it myself. If it works, it works. If it doesn't .. I don't think I can try anymore. I'm obviously not meant to have a baby. I tried to tell him that. I tried to tell him I couldn't do it, that .. I feel like a failure. All we do anymore is fight.

(Reply to this) (Parent)