InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "where does the good go?"

b.d.p. (_deni) wrote,
@ 2020-01-28 23:19:00

baby, i'm amazed at the way you love me all the time.
scene requests, texts , emails , voicemails , love/hate notes , spam , etc!

☆ CURRENT LOCATION: BEL AIR, CALIFORNIA

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	text _deni 2010-02-11 01:04 am UTC (link)
	oh. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _kingston 2010-02-11 01:05 am UTC (link)
	you don't want to go? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _deni 2010-02-11 01:11 am UTC (link)
	not really, no. too much, too soon. if you want to go, that's okay. you should go. it sounds like you're looking forward to it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _kingston 2010-02-11 01:14 am UTC (link)
	I wanted to go with you two...that's all. It's alright I will give them to someone else. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _deni 2010-02-11 01:18 am UTC (link)
	i'm sorry. concerts are crowded. it's just too many people, too much pushing and shoving. i'm still not comfortable enough for that. i'm sorry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _kingston 2010-02-11 01:20 am UTC (link)
	you're not really comfortable with anything. i'm just trying here, i'm sorry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _deni 2010-02-11 01:25 am UTC (link)
	i can't help that, kingston. next time my insides come bleeding out, i'll try not to let it get to me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _kingston 2010-02-11 01:28 am UTC (link)
	that was unnecessary. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _deni 2010-02-11 01:33 am UTC (link)
	you're making me feel like i'm wrong to be uncomfortable. like i shouldn't feel the way i feel, like i'm being irrational. like i should just suck it up and move on. and i can't do that. i still feel it, king. and i'm sorry but i didn't think i was doing so bad for it only having been two weeks. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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_kingston
2010-02-11 01:36 am UTC (link)

I miss you. That's all. I just want my wife back. I want to have fun with her. I don't want to feel like everything I say is wrong because apparently it is. And I don't feel that way at all that you are being irrational.

I still want a baby with you, I want to try eventually again but you don't and I respect that. I do. And I respect that you don't want to go to a concert. I respect that you don't want me. I respect that you need time and space and that's fine.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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_deni
2010-02-11 01:45 am UTC (link)

i miss you. i miss me. i miss that happy feeling i had that morning.
i miss feeling like, for once in my life, things were okay.
i miss feeling like i was a normal girl, like i could have what everyone else gets to have.
i miss waking up sick in the morning. i miss those little butterfly feelings i was starting to get in my stomach.
i hate that this happened. i hate that what we thought was going to be the hard part .. wasn't the hard part.
i hate this. i hate feeling like this. i hate remembering that day.
i hate how it felt to be lying on that gurney with no pants on because i'd bled through them, and you were trying to make it easier on me.
i love you for that. i love you for trying.
but it's not easy. this isn't easy and i just .. it hurts and i'm uncomfortable.
and i don't know if i can do this again, but i know that i love you. please don't forget that i love you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _kingston 2010-02-11 01:48 am UTC (link)
	that day was hard for me. the hardest. i hope you know that. but it won't defeat us, we have to be stronger than that together. i love you too. when i get home you want to take a bath? an innocent bath of course. i'll rub your shoulders and we can get buzzed and just eat fruit in the bath and be us. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _deni 2010-02-11 01:50 am UTC (link)
	just sitting in the bath with you would be amazing. thank you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _kingston 2010-02-11 01:53 am UTC (link)
	i was thinking for valentine's day we could cook dinner at home, i'll rent some movies and we can have a private date inside. maybe dance on the patio. whatever you want to do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _deni 2010-02-11 01:56 am UTC (link)
	i would really, really like that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _kingston 2010-02-11 01:58 am UTC (link)
	you know i'm not really into this holiday but i want to try. and i want to be a good husband and i want you happy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _deni 2010-02-11 02:07 am UTC (link)
	you are a good husband. and eventually, i'll be happy again. one day at a time, right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _kingston 2010-02-11 02:09 am UTC (link)
	i'll be home in a few. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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