InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "TEQUILA!"

b.d.p. (_deni) wrote,
@ 2020-01-28 23:19:00

baby, i'm amazed at the way you love me all the time.
scene requests, texts , emails , voicemails , love/hate notes , spam , etc!

☆ CURRENT LOCATION: BEL AIR, CALIFORNIA

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	text _kingston 2010-06-03 11:19 pm UTC (link)
	you do what you feel is right for you. and only you. if you honestly don't want me anymore...i'll learn to live with that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _deni 2010-06-03 11:24 pm UTC (link)
	i let myself build my hopes up for something that's not supposed to happen. and i just don't feel like you want it as much as i do anymore. but i don't want to fight and i don't want to lose you. so i'll just .. i'll cancel it. i'll cancel it and i'll come home. and we'll just ... talk about whatever you want. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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_kingston
2010-06-03 11:30 pm UTC (link)

this isn't about me.
I mean not how I see it. It's us.
just tell me what I did wrong.
I'm not sure why you feel like I don't want this anymore, I really do. I'm just scared to lose you. Why not just make Monday our last ditch effort? Then we'll go from there?

I had a crazy thought today that if we had a boy his name would be Chance Blythe Pennington. Only because you and I had the guts and the heart to take a chance when the impossible was beating down our door. Stupid I know. If you don't want to come home I won't make you. I'd understand.

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_deni
2010-06-03 11:35 pm UTC (link)

i'm tired of trying. i'm tired of getting the test results back and being all alone when i do. i can't .. you're too busy for this and i just can't anymore. so no .. i don't want to make monday our last ditch effort. i just want to be done. there won't be any little blythe. i acknowledged that a long, long time ago. and i was stupid to ever think otherwise. i think .. i just need a day. i'll be home tomorrow. i'm sorry.

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	text _kingston 2010-06-03 11:39 pm UTC (link)
	i'm never too busy for my family. you know that better than anyone. if you need me home i'm a phone call away. always. as for the rest of it well that makes me very sad, but if that's what you want then i won't change your mind otherwise. don't come home if you honestly don't want to be with us, if you don't want to be here. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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_deni
2010-06-03 11:45 pm UTC (link)

i can't call you out of surgery because i got bad news. you have a job to do, kingston. you have a job that's incredibly important, life altering. i can't expect you to jump when i say to and .. i won't. i hated being alone, i hated feeling lonely but .. i couldn't call you. you tell me i can but i don't feel like i can. i feel like there are so many other things out there .. that are just more important than finding out that i'm still not pregnant. it hurts and it sucks but it's a fact in my mind. i wanted so much to have this piece of us and i think that it's just not worth the gamble anymore. something isn't right. marriage shouldn't be like this. so i'm taking the conflict out of the equation. besides, blythe is a stupid name anyhow.

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_kingston
2010-06-03 11:50 pm UTC (link)

i want to talk to you in person.
this is impersonal.
sometimes marriage is hard. i love being married to you and knowing that i belong to someone who is ten times better than i'll ever be or imagine to be. i love knowing that i somehow tricked you into liking me and marrying me. i love everything about our life together. you know when i'm scheduled for surgery, i always tell you half the time i'm sitting in my office or doing rounds. i'd talk to you on the phone or return home during my lunch break just to be with you. i'm always a phone call away period. you can call me to tell me anything good or bad.

i think love and life is always worth the gamble. taking chances that's what makes life worth living. blythe isn't a stupid name. it's like the symbol of greatness in your life. i just, i'm all about taking chances. you took a chance on me. i know i'm not much but you seem to think i'm worth it.

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	text _deni 2010-06-04 12:09 am UTC (link)
	it is a stupid name. i don't know why i ever even thought it was all that great in the first place. it's just .. stupid. and it doesn't matter anyway. i'm done hurting. i'm done feeling inadequate. i wasn't meant to have a baby. i've got you and i've got kay. that's it. i don't need anything else. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _kingston 2010-06-04 12:13 am UTC (link)
	well, alright. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _deni 2010-06-04 12:16 am UTC (link)
	i'll be home tomorrow. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	text _kingston 2010-06-04 12:19 am UTC (link)
	ok (Reply to this) (Parent)

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