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[15 Apr 2018|09:29pm] |
He got his what stuck where?! GOYLE, you absolute legend.
Oh, and I'd like to clear my father's name from the list of potential baby-daddies, please. He's not cool enough to get involved in a scandal like that. His idea of a wild time is adding honey to his morning porridge, or wearing a whimsical pair of socks to work. Definitely not the type to go around shagging princesses.
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[11 Apr 2018|11:47am] |
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What the fuck happened in Diagon last night? You know shit's going down when Tom closes The Leaky Cauldron early.
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[26 Mar 2018|08:26pm] |
Another cracking weekend. Kudos to Duchess Alice Longbottom, my dear Aunt, for putting it all together.
[...]
Sorry about the fruit punch.
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[18 Mar 2018|09:32pm] |
Fuck me, my head hurts.
Thank you to the kind person who walked me home after The Weird Sisters gig last night. Whoever you are. And there was pizza at the end of the bed when I woke up.
Champion.
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[23 Feb 2018|11:20am] |
Beyond excited to see Quake play at The Hog's Head tomorrow night, and you should be too. So yeah, get on that.
Also, I just had my first chocolate Easter egg. It was so good I'm expecting a full spread about it in The Daily Prophet's evening edition.
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[31 Jan 2018|08:11pm] |
Thirty days hath September, April, June and November, all the rest have thirty-one, except for good-guy February who only has 28. And January, which has about seven fucking hundred.
Last day today, though. We've nearly made it, guys. Well done.
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[16 Jan 2018|04:13pm] |
Is it just me, or does January feel ten times longer than any other month of the year? Fuck me. And it's only the 16th. We're only half-way!
And the sexy-but-bad-in-bed magician has gone. Completely disappeared. It's like actual magic.
Kill me now.
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[31 Dec 2017|04:29pm] |
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Happy New Year, you tarts. Make sure you start it right - half-naked and lying in your own vomit. That way things can only get better.
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[29 Dec 2017|11:53am] |
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That muggle magician guy is back in Covent Garden. Mixed feelings. Does he deserve a second chance? I mean, the man carries doves in his pockets. That's gotta count for something, right?
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[12 Nov 2017|07:46pm] |
Happy Birthday to anyone born in November. It's highly likely that your parents conceived you on Valentine's Day. Isn't that sweet?
( Private to Theo )
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[26 Oct 2017|11:32am] |
this sucks literal balls
yes literal
if i miss halloween im gonna be pissed
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