Why oh why can't I write anything except stupid crack?

Title: The Accident
Timeline: Post-513
Author's Notes: For my darling xie_xie_xie who is sick at the moment. She wanted H/C but this came out instead. Thanks for proofing it between bouts of lung-hacking, Xie!

( Get Well Soon! )

xie_xie_xie hosted an impromptu dirty!feet!Justin!challenge for meta and fic, and donated $150 to the Pittsburgh AIDS Taskforce in the process.

This is my contribution. No need to comment if you already did so. I just wanted it posted here as well.

Originally posted here. Unchanged, but for a couple extra words. Thank you Xie!

( After Deb and Vic and the others left the party, Brian started drinking... )

It is my beloved xie_xie_xie's birthday today! Happy Birthday, darling!

I hope you have a wonderful day today, and I wish only good things for you in the year ahead. I wanted to do something special for you, but instead I wrote fic. ;)

I hope you enjoy this bit of silliness, and I wish you a great day!

( Happy Birthday Xie! )

Title: Counting Calories
Timeline: Post-308
Warnings: Stupid, stupid crack.
Author's Notes: Based on a plot bunny by ohfreckle at qaf_bunnies. Justin refuses to give Brian any more blowjobs, because he's afraid his ass will get fat from the additional calories. I hope you like it, my dear!
Equal parts thanks and apologies to my beta xie_xie_xie.

I have been working on a fic for a long time. This isn't it.

( Counting Calories )

Title: Already Married
Timeline: Post-513
Author's Notes: This was written for xie_xie_xie and inspired by THIS post in qaf_music. I wrote THIS fic earlier, in response to her request, but I wanted to challenge myself to write a believable fic where B/J dance in front of others. I hope it worked. Thank you to Xie for a thorough and excellent beta!

( Already Married )

Title: 'Neath the Pale Moonlight
Timeline: Late season 3
Author's Notes: This was written for xie_xie_xie and inspired by THIS post in qaf_music.
Thanks for your beta skills, Xie. I hope it's what you were after!

(  'Neath the Pale Moonlight )

Drabble. Post 513. That is all.

* * *

You used to get turned on by tall, muscled bodies, by overpowering men as big as yourself, bigger even.

Then it was blue eyes, bright smiles, running your fingers through blond silk.

Now, now it's the smell of turpentine, it's flecks of blue and grey under fingernails.

It's the sighs he makes when you massage his shoulders, his hand, working out the ache after long hours of painting.

It's coming inside his ass, letting it drip back down over your balls, your cock, still inside him. Always still inside him.

It's his laugh at the squelching sounds.

It's your lover.

Title: Deep Into the Night
Timeline: Late season 4
Author's Notes: Written for the Sex at Kinnetik challenge at bj_action. A big thank you to my beta xie_xie_xie. Cross-posted, sorry for the spamming

( Deep Into the Night )

Title: Betcha
Timeline: Late season 1
Rating: NC-17
Author's Notes: Many thanks to my brilliant beta, xie_xie_xie, for not only providing invaluable help, but for coming up with the plot bunny too. Written for the Icon Challenge With a Twist at qaf_challenges
Inspired By Icon:

( Betcha )

Title: Marriage
Timeline: Post-513

* * *

Brian always said he'd never do love. Never do marriage. His parents saw to that. His father with his fists, his mother with her words.

It was all bullshit anyway, a farce. Something for straights and dykes. Something to pass the time but never something real. You're the only one that's real. You're the only one you've got. It was his mantra for years.

And yet, Brian loves Justin fiercely. And he knows Justin will be the only one he'll ever love. And he'll love him forever. This is real, he thinks.

They're kind of married after all, he thinks.

Title: Never's a Long Time Away
Timeline: Post-513
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: A big thank you to xie_xie_xie for the beta!

( Never's a Long Time Away )

Title: The Crash
Timeline: Post-513
Rating: PG-13 (coarse language)
Author's Notes: Written for the qaf_challenges In Cars Challenge. Thank you to the world's best beta, xie_xie_xie, for her help and hand holding encouragement.


( The Crash )

Title: The Reminder
Timeline: Post-513
Author's Notes: For xie_xie_xie, who wanted a fic where Justin watches Brian sleep. And thank you for the beta, too, Xie! ♥

( The Reminder )

Title: The Thief
Timeline: Post 513
Author's Notes: Written for the qaf_drabbles challenge #15 - Clothes. More fluff. That seems to be my default setting.

( The Thief )

Title: Lost and Found
Timeline: Post-513
Author's Notes: Fluffy ficlet. A huge thank you to xie_xie_xie for the beta, and the title.

( Lost and Found )

Title: First Kiss
Timeline: Post 513
Author's Notes: Written for qaf_drabbles challenge #15 - Kisses. Unbeta'd. These drabbles are addictive. Sorry for spamming.

( First Kiss )

Title: Last Kiss
Timeline: Post 513

( Last Kiss )

Title: Negotiating
Timeline: Mid season 1
Warning: Unbeta'd. I know not what I do. I'm sorry. Really
Author's Notes: Written for qaf_drabbles challenge #13 - Dialog

( Negotiating )

Title: Motherfucker
Timeline: 510-512
Author's Notes: Written for the qaf_drabbles challenge #13 - Dialog. Utterly silly. You have been warned.

( Motherfucker )

Written for qaf_drabbles challenge #13 - Dialog

For vamphile

( Actions Speak Louder than Words )

I wrote a companion piece to Soon. You should probably read that one first if you haven't.

Title: Tomorrow
Timeline: Post 513
A/N: Thanks to Xie for the phrase 'perfect cocksucker lips', which I totally stole.
Feedback: Yes please

( Tomorrow )